Celebrating Mother’s Day as a Single Mom
On the morning of Mother’s Day I won’t be getting breakfast in bed by a hubby who acknowledges my effort at the ‘hardest job in the world’. And Lucca, my son, is still a few years off from school-age, so I won’t be receiving a glittered and beaned World’s-Best-Mom art piece to hang on the fridge.
But Mother’s Day is still going to be wonderful and I’ll tell you why: this year I’m choosing it to not be about me, at least not directly. For me, it’s going to be about my mother, and the universal qualities of mothers in general.
Celebrating Mother’s Day as a single mom will not be a front to throw myself a pitty party. Rather it wil be an occasion to honor all that my mother has given to me and to recognize the amazing gifts within all of us mommas– those innate gifts within the femine principle to nurture, support, educate and inspire.
Since becoming a mother, the love and admiration I have for my own mom has shot through the roof. I think this is the way it is for many of us– we never “got” how much our moms truly loved us, or how hard they worked to raise us and keep us safe, until we had our own kids.
It was only when we had our own children, and felt our own hearts explode with love, that we finally realized the amount of energy it took us and our own moms, just to make sure everyone still has all their limbs at the end of each day.
Motherhood enters you into an amazing club of appreciation for your own mom. And for me, that appreciation, goes even deeper.
I am one of those entirely blessed single moms who not only have the full love and support of her parents, but get to share the same household with them. Yes. You did read that correctly- I did say blessed and I do live under my parent’s roof.
Many would go insane at the prospect of sharing quarters like these– and trust me, I went through it in those early months myself–but what it has given me in terms of stabiltiy and Lucca in terms of family far outweighs the ego’s crunch of not having my own place, or the annoyance of someone else’s interior design.
(The full magnitude–the good, the bad, the ugly and the poetic– of all that can be said about living at home with mom and dad and my son needs its own post, but suffice it to say here that my mother (and dad too) deserves serious props and accolades for all that they do for Lucca and me).
Turning back to Mother’s Day… if I have learned anything since becoming a mother it’s that much more joy is found in devoting your heart to something when you aren’t preoccupied with hope or expectation of recieving anything in return.
So instead of worrying about how I will (or won’t) be recognized on May 11, here is what I want to focus on:
To my momma:
Thank you mom for putting up with Lucca and my messes (mostly Lucca’s, I promise) and for making room for us at the dinner table, and watching him some evenings so I can dance like I’m 17 again.
Mostly, mom, thank you for showing me in your quiet ways, the power of being an unsung hero and the grace it takes to love another even when you don’t like them very much (Lucca, stop kicking me!).
You’ve given me the strength to be proud of who I am, and walk anywhere with my head held high– even if it’s into a cathedral, with my belly blossoming and my left hand’s ring finger naked as the day I was born.
On this mother’s day I hope to make you feel as exquisite and as important in the world as you have done for me. If one day Lucca feels even half of what I feel for you, I will feel like a successful momma.
To mommas of the world, and especially those on i heart single parents, Thank you for your tireless nurturing and for remembering (and reminding me) how essential it is to nurture our own souls first so we have the energy and reserve to give our best to our children.
Thank you for the openhanded support you give each other. There is no better club to be in than the motherhood club–where else do human beings identify with eachother so completely and take on each other’s problems as if they were their own?
Thank you for the leaders you are in creating a better tomorrow, for the way you humbly educate the world about compassion, patience, respect for the earth, and rights for all mankind.
And most importantly, thank you for the inspiration, I cannot count the amount of times my day has turned from dark clouds and darker spirits into blue-skys and endless possibility, because I spent one hour of coffee with one of you.
Mother’s Day this year is going to rock. Single momma I may be, but I’m far from without reason to celebrate. Just look at the company I keep. =)
Morgan Siler blogs at ModernSingleMomma.com and is the creator of SingleParentSpecials.com -perks for single parents to encourage them to live their happily ever now. She is also the co-creator of iHeartSingleParents.com- the coolest social network for single moms and dads online.