Duchess Digest: Listening to our Gut

mtmhattossI have been living in Los Angeles for a year now. I’m happy here. I like the city. I like all there is to do. With my one year lease expiring this month, I’ve been deciding where to get a new apartment. I’ve felt certain I would stay. I like who I’m becoming. I like what I’m doing, and I love the people I’m privileged to have met.

So why is it that as I’ve been trying to stay, nothing has been working out?

Apartment after apartment has slipped through my fingers, my job has become increasingly unrewarding, and all my footloose and fancy-free single ladies have been getting attached left and right. Why isn’t my casual dating partner turning into a committed boyfriend? Why am I not finding an apartment? Where is my job interview after all the applying for new positions I’ve been doing? What am I supposed to be learning?

I’ve been doing everything I can to make things in the city work until finally last weekend I paused and asked myself a very important question. Why? Why did I need this decision to stay in L.A. to be the right one?

I couldn’t come up with a real reason, so I tried to just let it go. I told myself, stay or go – I’m open to both.

I’ve always been one for action. I’ve always been bold and willing to take a chance. So the more I thought about it the more I thought, do what you’re gut is telling you. I argued with myself a little longer, until a few days later I found myself in my boss’s office, resigning and emailing all my friends and family that the 15th would be my last day here in Cali for a while. I needed a break. I needed to think. And despite my love for L.A., the decision felt right.

So I’m off on a new adventure. I haven’t come up with the details yet. I don’t really know the how or the why, or actually the where. Just that it’s time to go for a while. I have some money saved. I’ll be okay without a job for a few months. So with no plan beyond heading to Denver to see family for a while, and no idea why exactly I’m going, I am trusting my gut and going forward with my decision to move on. Sometimes we don’t know the reason why our gut is telling us to do something. It can often seem confusing and counterintuitive. What about the economy? What if I never find a job? Where am I going (literally!)? I’m happy here in L.A. – so why do I feel I need to go?

I don’t know all the answers to these questions. But I know we have to go with what our gut tells us. My intuition is something I have learned to trust implicitly. And mine is saying there is a reason for me to go right now. That’s good enough for me.

–Jill Brown

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: www.theduchessguide.com