Duchess Digest: London Calling
I have been diligently working for months; well actually, well over a year to build myself back into the woman I was before I got divorced. It’s been a damn long road that was not at all fun or easy, but I feel I’ve finally settled into myself again. And while I’m still very annoyingly human and full of massive frailties and insecurities, I feel happy. Apparently life seems to think I’m doing pretty well too, because good things, no amazing things keep happening over the past month. And while I was on the receiving end of an “I love you” I honestly thought I would never be hearing from someone I have deeply loved for almost two years, it seems the hope behind that unexpected admission will still not be resulting in a relationship that I so genuinely wanted. But despite this somewhat challenging realization, it appears I am not being given up on by life and the cosmos just yet.
So maybe it is true, that when it rains, it pours. And for me, this will literally be true when I head out for the rainy, foggy streets of London. Actually, to be totally honest I will be heading up to the Cotswolds for most of my visit since that is where my friends live, but rainy, chilly England in any case.
As I am about to make my journey across the Atlantic I am wondering what our sisters in England have in common with us. Are they looking for love, career and balance just like us? Do they dream of falling in love with an American the way I’ve always fantasized and swooned over the Brit blokes?
Do they like our cute American accents the way we so often enjoy most of the regional dialects of their country?
My guess is yes, at least to love and career – because I think most modern women are seeking the same things. Do those things exist? I hope so. Can a long distance relationship work across coasts or is it destined to disintegrate? I wasn’t able to successfully “mind the gap” of about three miles from Beverly Hills to Westwood in my last relationship to make it
work, so what kind of nerve do I have thinking something that crosses the entire land mass of America and the Atlantic Ocean will survive?
Is love worth the risk? I’ve always believed yes. But at the same time I’m terrified after my last experience with falling head over heels in love. As they sing in Flight of the Concords, “a kiss is not a contract,” so putting expectations on something new is a sure way to head for disappointment; fast. And I destroyed and suffocated my last love under the weight of expectations that were made too fast and too furious. Yet it’s difficult to not feel hopeful about this long time friend turned love interest. I don’t even know how or when it really happened. It just sort of did somewhere in the last few weeks. At least we know each other and have spent time together over the years. Unlike any previous dating experience, this man is no stranger to me. And people always say your best friends make the best relationships because it’s based on something real. And oh my God does he make me laugh. Laugh and laugh and laugh. I don’t know the answers, is my honest answer for now. I’ll be finding out about the time you read this column.
All I know right now is that London is definitely calling.
Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: www.theduchessguide.com
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