Duchess Digest: Saboteur

carrie-and-aidanAt some point or another each one of have fallen prey to sabotage. Maybe you were the victim of identity theft? Perhaps someone took your idea and called it their own? You may have had a great plan foiled by an irresponsible partner or lost a boyfriend to an untrustworthy friend (former friend I hope!).

Regardless of the manner in which it took place, we’ve all experienced the agony and irritation of having our greatness sabotaged by another in some way. But wait. What’s that you say? You’ve never been on the receiving end of a little destruction? I am here to declare “Bollocks” to that response.

Actually, I’m here to call out the real perpetrator in the sabotage scenario. I’m talking about the most heinous, most clever, most sneaky and most deceitful destroyer to ever stalk the dark alleys of life. I’m talking about you!

How often have you been going along through life and suddenly realized . . . something’s amiss. Did you leave the stove on? Perhaps you didn’t unplug all your appliances and you are now solely responsible for global warming.

No. The house is fine, the family is great, work’s going well and your love life is even the perfect combination of domestic bliss and a Harlequin romance book cover. It is precisely in this moment of realizing the unthinkable, nay, the impossible that things get eerie: you’re happy.

Yep, you are ridiculously, healthily and totally drama-free happy. This is the point where you need to pause, take a deep breathe and start becoming very aware. Why you ask? Because this seems to be the point at which we women like to self-sabotage. So start to notice and pay close attention!

Maybe things are great at work and home but you notice you’re picking fights with your boyfriend. Unconsciously maybe, but instigating them just the same. Or perhaps your home life is good but you are uncharacteristically turning up late to work, missing deadlines or committing minor mistakes all over the office. You may even have work and home dialed in nicely but are suddenly skipping the gym, substituting M&M’s for veggies as a work snack and stopping for fast food more frequently. However your sneaky inner saboteur works – it’s up to you to go undercover, seek her out and stop her in her tracks!

We’ve all seen it! The finally happy and over-her-ex best friend of yours who out of the blue bumps into the icky ex and suddenly decides to call him; the richer than Midas Oprah who has it all and yet self-sabotages with food and exercise issues, even the looking-for-love Carrie Bradshaw who has to finally ask “perfect” Aidan on the street, “What’s wrong with you?”

Whichever form of proverbial poison you pick, awareness is the key to survival. The only way to stop self sabotage and truly live your bliss is to properly identify this formidable internal foe the moment she rears her ugly head. Success depends on you; so why not make us both proud and give up the destructor within!

–Jill Brown

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: www.theduchessguide.com


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