How Do You Deal With An Uncooperative Ex?

You think you’ve met your soul mate; just the sound of your love’s voice, fills your belly with twittering butterflies. In the midst of your all-consuming  infatuation with your new love spending time away from him seems more than you can bear!

You chalk up his “flaws” to endearing characteristics; no matter what he says, or does, you are in major love/lust….

All your thoughts seem to drift into sweet day dreams about your wedding day, a protruding belly, the birth of your children, sitting around a roaring fireplace snuggling on the couch, with children’s laughter wafting through the air.  

Two and half years, later, you’re married…and it is nothing like the daydreams you fantasized about. Still you’ve heard that newlyweds have an adjustment period they need to muddle through and you are committed to staying in your marriage, at all costs. You will not be another divorce statistic.

Then you find out that you’re pregnant; your  hormones are in over-drive, and your nesting instinct kicks in hard! You find yourself swept back into daydreams of a bouncing baby cooing at you and your husband- this life you’ve created will surely bring you together. How could it not?  

After a grueling labor you deliver your little girl- and for a brief second- you look wistfully into your husband’s eyes, and you think you might have found a glimmer of hope, a chance to salvage your marriage, your partnership.  

Four years later you have finally resigned yourself to the fact that despite your best efforts your marriage is over. Your husband wants no part of a divorce– and yet- you know it is the only option for you and your child.  

Unfortunately, once you have a child with another person, you are forever inextricably linked.

What do you do if your ex is unwilling to cooperate with you on anything in regards to parenting your child; even if it is to the detriment of your child? How do you put aside your differences and bite your tongue–and make sure to keep the best interest of your child first and foremost…even when you feel like scratching out the eyes of your most uncooperative and yes, even slightly vindictive ex?

–Melissa Chapman

Family Editor