With Palin, Crash and Burn McCain Shoots from the Hip Once Again

While Cindy McCain was out shopping for the essentials last week, a new Mercedes 2-door sports coup (the one she has now doesn’t quite match her eyes) an eighth home (you try squeezing your life into seven homes and see how you like it), etc.; husband John was busy window shopping for a vice president.

True to his 1940s sensibilities, he was humming that old tune over and over in his mind, “How Much Is That Doggie In The Window” The doggie he settled on was the former beauty pageant queen, now comfortably seated on a couch that was once a bear (no joke) as the governor of Alaska. True to his strong Republican values, as one of his rank and file might described Palin, “she’s smart as a whip, and she’s easy on the eye.”

I must admit that I don’t know very much about Sarah Palin. From early reports she sounds like a cross between Dan Quayle and Annie Oakley. She apparently enjoys hunting, (she and her father would sometimes wake at 3 a.m. to hunt elk before school) and she can gut a salmon faster than you can say, “Let’s drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Reserve.”

The ticket, according to political comedian Bill Maher, will be known as “the Maverick and the MILF.”

The Maverick and the MILFWhat I find astounding is that the same campaign that has been warning us about Barack Obama’s lack of readiness in a world filled with evildoers now tells us that it is perfectly fine to select a person who served as the mayor of a small town in Alaska, (population 7,000 +/-) and one and a half years as the state’s governor, to be ready to step into the presidency at a moment’s notice in the “unlikely event” that a 72-year old melanoma cancer survivor would not live out his first term. This is what McCain calls putting “Country First.”

Well it’s good to know that McCain’s only thoughts were love of country when he picked a battle-tested, foreign policy expert, and economic whiz like Palin to be his number two. Some less informed individuals might have thought he was grandstanding hoping to capture disaffected Hillary Clinton supporters and therefore putting politics, not county, first. After all, as McCain’s group of advisors could tell you, “One national candidate in a skirt is just as good as any other candidate in a skirt.”
So what if Hillary is pro choice and Palin wants to end choice? The fact that there are two pro choice Supreme Court justices that are hanging on for dear life waiting for Bush’s term to end, should be of no concern to Hillary’s supporters. Not to mention Palin being anti-gun control, pro drilling anywhere and everywhere, and the darling of the Christian radical right.

The Bush/Cheney team has worked for years attempting to prove that you can take any amount of elk shit and spin it into chocolate mousse. If the McCain/Palin team can pull this one off, I’m afraid they will have proven the point. They would argue that the facts about any subject from healthcare, to the war in Iraq, to the economy, and global waring is nothing more than a series of inconvenient truths. Bush was a guy everyone wanted to have a beer with, and McCain’s a straight shooter, and Palin is just an everyday hockey mom. That’s what matters to Americans. That other stuff is just for policy wonks in Washington. It’s BORING!

John McCain’s personal and political life has been a series of missteps. I’m guessing he just made another huge blunder in his pick of Palin.
Let’s see if I’m right. If it turns out that I’m wrong, we might just be swimming in elk dung from Washington to Alaska for a very long time to come.

Martin Brown

Money Editor, SingleMindedWomen.com