Sex & the Single Woman: Backward

It’s taken four months for me to realize how backward I perceive things sometimes.

I’m referring to a night in March when I was out with my friends and met a kind of cute guy. He recognized me from a column I write in a local paper, and immediately started chatting me up. While I wasn’t interested, I didn’t let him know, and he did something absolutely remarkable.

He did all the right things.

He was sweet, funny, and flirtatious, but respectful. He was, in short, what I wish every guy I liked could be. After that initial night, he made an effort to contact me, although he never got around to asking me out.

As all of this was happening, my friends and I looked at the situation as if he was being creepy, coming on too strong. Now, four months later, it’s just occurring to me that normally I would kill for a cute guy to pursue me like this. What’s wrong?

I think I am conditioned to expect the worst, trained to put up a fight. I’m not used to the guy making it so easy. I think if there would have been chemistry, I would barely have needed to try before I would have found myself on a date with him.

Why is it that we expect the worst in men? And when behave extraordinarily well, we judge them? Is it them who are backward, or is it us?