Sex & the Single Woman: No More Mr. Nice Guy?

Today I read a Dear Abby-esque letter about “nice guys” in a local newspaper. The response was not that nice guys are overlooked, but rather that they act in such a way that they allow people to overlook them. Interesting.

In contrast to the idea that these guys are being wrong, the response points out the qualities of “not nice guys”: confidence, generally well-dressed, outgoing enough to talk to girls without fearing the repercussions of being shot down. Women find these qualities appealing and react accordingly.

Traditional nice guys, on the other hand, take a more subtle way of getting noticed, hoping that kind favors will eventually win them favor in the eyes of the girls they want. Women see them as merely being friends and treat them accordingly.

Thus the hierarchy is established.

When looking at these analyses in my own life, I can see why the author of the response made that argument. The traditional “nice guys” in my life, they tend to be more passive. I have been frustrated in the past because guys I like are too laid back in making moves. I do like guys who are a little more aggressive, but it can be a major turnoff when they are too cocky.

So what do you think — is it the nice guys’ fault that they are too … nice?

–Maggie