Sex & the Single Woman: Take It from the Top

When in love, one of the hardest things to do is realize the person you care for is not right for you. It’s a classic plotline — a girl loves a guy, blinded by what a jerk he really his. For whatever reason, she rationalizes his behavior and, even though her friends insist otherwise, she thinks he is worth it.

I’ve been in this position before and it’s not pretty. I’m lucky to have the most supportive friends in the world, but even that wasn’t enough to convince me that I deserved better than this guy. It wasn’t self-loathing, but rather the mistaken belief that I found everything I wanted in this guy.

In many ways, I was right. He’s a great talker and our chemistry is unmatched. He was everything so many other guys couldn’t be and this was something I held onto. It was hard to imagine another guy with those traits. If that was it, he would have been a catch. But he had a lot of negative qualities, things I wrote off time and time again. He admitted his faults, yet I still brushed them aside.

So what does a woman do when faced with this dilemma?

Honestly, my personal revelation came in a way that was extremely unexpected for me. I confirmed we weren’t right for each other not when he was rude to me, but rather when I heard stories of how other guys I know treated their girlfriends. In the same weekend the not-so-good guy devastated me, one of my friends’ boyfriend said, unprompted, “I will never let anything bad happen to you.”

How’s that for contrast?

I’ve always known I’ve deserve a guy who will say something like that to me, but it was comparing those two situations that made me realize I hadn’t found that. And, that with this guy, I never would.

So here’s to starting over.