Sex & the Single Woman: The First Cut Isn’t Always the Deepest

When it comes to dating, one thing I always try to do is forgive. I’ve said before I don’t like holding grudges or being mad at people, but now I’m finding that this philosophy is more dangerous than I thought.

My willingness to forgive and forget has turned into a sneaky form of masochism and I’m unsure of how to get it to stop. By moving on from being upset about being hurt, I open myself up to get hurt again. And again. By not cutting myself off from those who wrong me, I am giving them the opportunity to do it again.

I’m currently in a situation where I have been wronged, and I did choose to let it go. The man in question, it seems, has chosen to move on as well and continues to be friendly toward me. Every time he’s nice to me, however, I start to slip into forgetting he ever hurt me at all. Not good.

It’s been said that that nice guys finish last, and I’ve always hoped to be too optimistic to believe that. At the same time, I can’t continue to let this happen.

What do you think? Do you find yourself in a masochistic cycle?

–Maggie