Sex & the Single Woman: The Party Stalker Ex

All week we will be posting stories from Sex & the Single Woman’s Worst Boyfriend Of All Time contest. The winner with the most comments (minimum 5) wins a Breakup Gram from Girlfriend Grams. Start voting now, or email erind@singlemindedwomen.com to share your own bad boyfriend story!

I had the boyfriend from hell. I guess we’ve all dated someone that we regretted dating at some point in our female lives. This was the last guy I dated before I met my husband. 

I learned two things from that failed relationship. #1: Don’t swim off the same pier where you fish. #2: Let the rebound be the rebound.

I met “Vince” at work, having just ended a 5-year long relationship with someone. At first, everything about him annoyed me (his dress, his haircut, his smoking, his chip on the shoulder attitude). However, after spending some time getting to know this guy, he started to grow on me. We started hanging out…no strings, not dating, per se. Everyone around us started commenting on our demeanor. It seemed as if we had evolved into the new, giggly, and adorable office couple. 

He was new to town, so many of our social functions were with my friends and occasionally family. He officially asked me to be his girlfriend…and I will admit, I was on cloud nine. The first six months were wonderful; then the drama ensued.

I had to crash at his place for a few nights because my house was being exterminated. After the third and final night of my sleepover, Vince proceeded to tell me how he needed some space. I thought we were still a couple, but apparently he was on a break. That following weekend my next-door neighbor was celebrating a birthday. I assumed I would just attend the function alone. Wouldn’t you know it, but my boyfriend from hell strolls in with a date. I didn’t even think he was that close to my neighbor. In fact, he didn’t even bring a gift. I attempted to pull him aside to get an explanation, but he didn’t want to be rude to his date and leave her alone. 

stalkerexI gave Vince “his space” for most of that party and all of that following work week, which was pretty difficult when you work in the same building. One week following the birthday party, Vince came crawling back. In fact he spent the following month trying to get back into my good graces. It took a while for me to consider forgiving him, but I finally caved in. In fact, we played that “I need space, but I can’t live without you” record for another six months. My friends were getting irritated with me because I repeatedly went back. It was unfortunate that he had not met many new friends, so all of his friends were my friends.

A little over a year after meeting Vince, I had had enough. I finally put an end to the roller-coaster relationship after a long-winded conversation over the Thanksgiving weekend. I got a new job. I got a new cell phone number. This was going to be a clean break. The holiday break was just around the corner and I planned on ringing in the New Year with a bang. Unfortunately, Vince had other ideas. 

I made New Year’s Eve plans with all of my friends, plotting a string of parties all over town. I scheduled out my cocktails, driving buddies, and the perfect holiday garb. I was ready for an amazing New Year’s Eve. Wouldn’t you know it, my boyfriend from hell strolls into my first holiday party with a date. I mentally reconfigured my evening to accommodate the intrusion, made my rounds, and departed for party #2. After settling into party #2, I poured myself a large cocktail. Wouldn’t you know it, boyfriend from hell strolls in. I didn’t even know he was invited to this private party sponsored by my best friend. My best friend proceeded to explain. It seems Vince inquired to the party and my best friend told him it was sold out. Vince offered to pay three times the cover price to attend the party. Again, I mentally reconfigured my evening, made my rounds, and departed for parties number 3, 4, and 5. I spent the whole night trying to get away from my ex-boyfriend from hell. I finally lost him at 5am on New Year’s Day. I connected with a smaller group of my friends and went to beach to watch the sunrise. He did call a couple of us to meet up, but no one answered his call. 

-J.