The Duchess Digest: What You Speak Is Seeking You

The Matterhorn, Zermatt, SwitzerlandHave you ever complained about a difficult situation to a friend, only to have them respond that sometimes the most challenging events in our lives are our best teachers?  And when they offered that sage wisdom, didn’t you just want to smack them? Partly because it’s such a sanctimonious response when all you really wanted to do was vent and partly because, damn it all, you know they’re right.

I’ve certainly heard that advice many times along the way and wanted to scream. But something pretty remarkable has come out of all the changes and challenges of the past few years in my life. I have come into my own and have worked hard to gain some self-awareness. One “a-ha” moment of that ever expanding self-discovery was realizing that I would repeat sob stories or complaints: to everyone. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you need to talk hard times through, but at a certain point all I was doing was reinforcing the wah-wah, poor me, bad stuff. What about all the really great stuff? Why was I not repeating that over and over again?

I’ve discovered a pretty remarkable woman underneath that big story I’ve been carrying around. Sure I have hang-ups and make mistakes, in fact, I make tons of mistakes; I’m a pro! But overall I like who I am and what I’m about. I’ve found a simple, if still slightly fragile, happiness.

Is there room for more happiness? That’s like asking if I want some more flourless chocolate decadence or a refill on my champagne. Oui and Oui! But right here, right now, I’m happy. I have a blessed life that is full of great friends, a loving family, the best dog in the world, a healthy body and a fascinating city to call home. And it doesn’t stop there. I’ve enjoyed some really beautiful relationships and romances too. How many women had their first date in high school be a flight around the Cook Inlet in a plane piloted by their 17-year old crush? Or have enjoyed a passionate kiss goodnight in the gentle stillness of the falling snow during a storm? Or had their sweetheart go out and buy a toaster to make them toast when they were sick and stuck in a Vegas hotel room with no room service available for hours? Or had the opportunity to explore the world with their boyfriend from the wine country of Mendoza, Argentina to the sunny slopes of Zermatt and Chamonix to the temples of Angkor Wat in Cambodia? I feel confident that you too can recall many unique adventures and moments of love from your own life.

So as part of the self-proclaimed Year of the Phoenix, I want to continue expressing my gratitude for this wonderful life by repeating my blessings. There’s a quote about “Say something twice and it becomes your habit. Say it more then twice and it becomes your truth.” I want my truth to be that miracles happen, that life is a beautiful adventure and that love is real and worthwhile. What will your truth in this life be?

—Jill Brown

Jill Brown - Duchess GuideJill Brown is a Los Angeles, California based Life Coach and Writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: