“Why Am I a Lousy First Date?”

Mars Venus Relationships expert, John Gray, answers this question for one of our SingleMindedWomen.com readers:

Dear John,
I’ve been told I’m sexy and sweet. Despite this, I’ve been on a lot of first dates-but not too many second or third ones. I’ve finally figured out what I’m doing wrong: I’m a chatterbox. Besides saying too much, I guess I also say the wrong things. What tip would you give someone who tries too hard to impress?

-Motor Mouth Minnie, in Chicago, IL

John GrayIt’s great that you’ve picked up on the fact that you may be dominating the conversation. That said, consider that the turn-off might not just that you’re saying too much, but also that you’re saying the wrong things.

To help you break your losing streak, remember these four tips before speaking:

Tip #1: Smile.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But you’d be surprised how often people forget the expression on their faces.

Keep in mind, we don’t just “talk” with words. We also talk with our body language. And men are more visual than oral: they may not listen well (a common complaint women have), but they certainly pick up on all the subliminal signals. If you’re worried about the kind of impression you’ll make, you may not realize that you’re frowning, or solemn. And both of these give the wrong message…

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Josie Brown

SMW Relationships Editor