When my husband and I were leveled by the recession during our first year of marriage, we were forced to move in with my mother. We came up with a few simple ways to keep our marriage strong during our darkest days, and they helped us so much that we still use them even now that we’re living in our own apartment and facing brighter horizons.

First, we learned that needed time together. Just taking twenty minutes to go for swim or a walk reminded us what we love about each other and took us out of the slog of trying to pull our lives back up by their bootstraps. Another great “date” is a good ol’ cup of Joe. Just this small splurge at your favorite coffee shop will go a long way towards making your lives feel less bleak.

Also just the break to reconnect and have a little getaway—even when times are tough—will keep love alive. Now, if you’re really trying to cut back, you can make a thermos of coffee at home—but make sure you take it somewhere else to drink it.  A park or a beach can seem like a getaway even during these last days of winter.

Then, we had to talk to each other—talk truly is cheap! We all forget to talk to our partners when the road is rocky. Especially when one of us is out of work and there’s a mountain of shame and frustration it can be hard to know where to begin. I think that for men, especially, finding the words to say how hard losing a job is can be a challenge. When my husband, Dan, was out of work and we were living with my mother, we came up with a plan: At the end of each day we took a few moments to tell each other a few things we were grateful for in each other. We kept it simple and just said what made us feel lucky and tried not to diverge into the “what makes me crazy” territory. This pause of kindness kept us close.

Our next revelation: we needed to PLAY. I know this sounds odd, but we started playing board games. If you think about it, when was the last time you played a board game? Remember how, as kids, we could spend an entire evening with Clue? We’re all so stuck to our computers and iPhones these days that it’s easy to forget that board games exist. Dan and I spent many an evening playing Monopoly when our bank account was at its lowest ebb. Hey, we didn’t have any real money, but at least we could play with fake money! And it was a fun, simple way to engage with each other without spending much- needed real cash on a date. (If you have a child, wait till they go to bed, make a big bowl of popcorn and start playing–this will save you the  money you would have paid a babysitter and you’ll still have fun!)

When we drove across the country from California to Maine to move in with Mom, we hauled a tower of bills behind us. Somehow in the stress of our lives collapsing I suddenly felt like I couldn’t handle even looking at the bills without panicking and the bulk of that job fell on Dan’s shoulders.  This didn’t work well because Dan was already so stressed about losing work, that to make him the person to navigate the insanity of creditors and overdue bills was not fair. It created tension between us.

Finally, we came up with the plan that at least as long as the recession lasted, all bets were are off for making the checkbook and bill paying only one person’s problem. At the very least, we both needed to be talking about what was in the bank, what was needed for food and other essentials, where any trims could happen and what the plan was going to be for the future. We still plan this way to this day: we sit down with a cup of tea and discuss what’s going on with our money (or lack of money) and where we need to allocate funds. We found that financial responsibility has to be something everyone chips in with; shoving it all on one person’s shoulders is unfair and, ultimately, destructive. Coming together over the checkbook made us much closer and opened the lines of communication.

Finally, experts believe that kissing is the easiest and fastest way to establish intimacy. They say it’s something about the neurons in the brain and the mouth to mouth contact. Dan and I have always tried to give each other a kiss goodnight and a kiss when we say goodbye—even when we want to kill each other. Kissing is free and…it might just keep the spark alive when everything else feels like it’s falling apart.

Remember that just because your financial lives are shaky, it doesn’t mean your relationship has to collapse. With these simple solutions, you can remain strong.

________________________________________

By Caitlin Shetterly is the author of Made for You and Me: Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home. She is a frequent contributor to National Public Radio where she reports on arts and culture, food, and lifestyle. She can be heard on both All Things Considered and Weekend Edition. For Weekend Edition, she created a series of autobiographical audio diaries about the Recession under the title Diary of a Recession. These diaries, along with her blog, Passage West, inspired her memoir Made For You and Me: Going West, Going Broke, Finding Home (Voice, March 8, 2011).

“Last year I was investing in bond funds and now I’ve lost money. What happened? I thought bonds were supposed to be safe investments!”

Recently several people have asked me this same question. Given the turbulent economic times we’re (hopefully!) coming out of, it’s understandable that folks want to find a “safe investment” to hunker down in.

Alas, the phrase “safe investment” is an oxymoron. The whole point of investing is taking on some risk with the hope, but not the guarantee, of earning a higher return than you’d get from doing something risk free.

So how did bonds get the reputation of being “safe?” Well, at their core, bonds are loans. You lend money for a pre-determined period of time. In return you receive interest at specified intervals. When your loan (a.k.a. bond) matures you get back the money you originally loaned – if the entity hasn’t gone bankrupt.

It is the return of that original investment that has caused people to view bonds as “safe” investments. Alas, there are always risks with any investments. The two classic ones for individual bonds are:

1.      Credit Risk: This is the risk that the entity you lend to goes belly up and can’t pay you back.

2.      Interest Rate Risk: Bonds are like seesaws. When interest rates go up, the price of bonds go down. If you hold your bond until it matures, the impact is all on paper. But if you are forced to sell your bond before its maturity date and interest rates are higher than when you bought that bond, the price you’ll receive will be less than you originally invested.

Another problem with individual bonds is you often need a pretty hefty chunk of change to buy them. This is where bond mutual funds come in. For example, if you had $10,000 to invest you might be able to buy one bond. But by pooling your money with other people’s money, bond mutual funds enable you to take that $10,000 and spread it out over many different bonds. That helps you spread out your risk.

However, when individual investors decide to take their money out of a bond fund, the portfolio manager may be forced to sell bonds at less than desirable prices to give them back their money. You could call this liquidity risk. Over the past year, as interest rates have inched up and there have been concerns about credit quality, the price of some bond funds has declined as these risks all reared their heads.

What does this mean for you? It means that like stock funds, bond funds also have some risk associated with them. They should not be thought of as “100% safe” substitutes for FDIC insured savings accounts. Rather, they are intended to be part of a well-balanced portfolio. Another way to keep your risk low is to invest in bond funds that have average maturities of 5 years or less because they seesaw around less violently as interest rates move.

What additional questions do you have about bonds or bond funds?

© 2011 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Women’s Financial Literacy Initiative founder, Manisha Thakor, on Twitter at @ManishaThakor, sign up to get her email updates delivered right to your inbox here, and enroll in her innovative new online personal finance course called “Money Rules.”

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Do you ever worry about ending up old and poor?

For many women, becoming the proverbial “bag lady under the bridge” is one of their worst nightmares. Myself included. I literally sit down with my husband and our financial planner twice a year to re-confirm that we are doing everything we can to make sure we do not outlive our retirement savings!

Unfortunately, this fear of ending up old and poor is actually a very rational one for a high percentage of women.

Recently, I had the chance to hear Karen Wimbish, Head of Wells Fargo Retail Retirement Group, and personal finance guru Jean Chatzky present powerful data collected in a Harris Interactive poll in conjunction with the launch of a new website to help women prepare for retirement, Beyond Today. I’m always looking for useful resources to direct women to, and I think this site can help a lot of folks.

First up, the data: (Put your seatbelts on. The numbers are stark.)

• Nearly 1/3 of women between the ages of 40 and 69 are “can’t estimate” how much money they can withdraw annually from their retirement accounts and about 32% of women in their 40s and 50s estimate they will withdraw between 11% – 30% of their savings annually. These are unrealistically high annual withdrawal rates – leaving them vulnerable to outliving their savings.
• While both men and women are under saved for their retirements, the women polled had saved less than men – with a median retirement savings accumulated to date of $20,000 for women surveyed versus $25,000 for men.
• Worse still, despite longer expected life spans, when asked how much they were aiming for in retirement savings women aimed lower with a median goal of $200,000 versus $400,000 for men.

A savvy, 30-year industry veteran, Karen was kind enough to speak with me about some of the factors driving this dreary data – and what women can do to improve the odds that their golden years really will be golden.

A couple of key themes kept coming up during out chat. First, while many women are absolutely at the table on a day-to-day basis for bill payment and major household expenditures, when it comes to financial planning or investing – women are more likely to report ourselves as a “joint decision maker” than are married men who are asked this question. Men are more likely to see themselves as “the primary“ decision maker in financial matters – so there is a disconnect between men and women in terms of the role they see themselves playing. The survey data also showed women to have less confidence in the stock market as a long-term tool for retirement planning.

What does all this potentially mind-numbing data mean for your life?

• If you are in your 20s and 30s: The best action step is to max out your tax advantaged retirement plans (401k type plans and IRAs). Karen points out a great way to do this is to commit to saving a set percentage of your income, rather than a fixed dollar amount, so as your income rises, so too do your contributions.
• If you are in your 40s: The data shows that this group, which I’m a part of, are the most stressed-out set, sandwiched between entering our peak earnings years while trying to juggle family and elder care responsibilities. In this life stage, the key action step is not to put our heads in the financial sands.
• If you are in your 50s, and 60s: You are heading into the “red zone” the critical years leading up to retirement where small shifts in how much you save and what you invest in can make the difference. Understanding the gravity of this period is key.

The key takeaway: At all three stages making sure you are actively engaged with your finances and seeking to self-educate yourself is key. Reading blogs, visiting websites like Beyond Today, and engaging the services of a trusted financial advisor to meet with you on an annual or semi-annual basis can go a VERY long way towards increasing your financial confidence, sense of optimism for the future, and even household harmony. Just as with your health, no one will ever care about your financial fitness as much as you do.

What steps are you taking right now to plan for your retirement?

© 2011 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Women’s Financial Literacy Initiative founder, Manisha Thakor, on Twitter at @ManishaThakor, sign up to get her email updates delivered right to your inbox here, and enroll in her innovative new online personal finance course called “Money Rules.”

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Do your children think you are a walking ATM?

If you are tired of “must-have-that-toy-right-now” tantrums as you walk down the aisles of Target or Toys “R” Us, go straight to your nearest bookstore and buy Alisa T. Weinstein’s new book, EARN IT, LEARN IT. Alisa tosses the old allowance-based system of teaching your kids about money and replaces it with: J.O.B.S. But not in the way you might think…

Innovative learning lessons can transform a child’s life. When I was growing up one of my pivotal memories was sitting down with my dad who showed me how to calculate how much money I’d have in my IRA down the road if I contributed my babysitting and lawn mowing money to it and it grew at 6%, 8%, 10%, etc.  Yeesh. Once I saw that if I saved $2,000 a year (the annual max contribution back then) for 50 years and earned 8% average annual returns I’d have over $1,000,000 – I was hooked. It changed my attitude about money forever. Learning to be responsible with money became fun. Now most kids aren’t as wonky as I was so punching the keys of an HP12C financial calculator might not do it for them, but I have a strong hunch Alisa’s unique approach will.

How did you come up with this concept of using jobs to teach kids about money?

I credit my daughter completely. She wanted “one more lip balm Mommy!” and I thought 13 lip balms were plenty for a four-year-old (a four-year-old!). In my exasperation I told her to “get a job.” As soon as I said it, I just knew that was how she was going to earn her allowance: by test-driving real jobs.

How does EARN IT, LEARN IT work?

For the book, I interviewed 49 people with 49 different careers. I then translated their day-to-day responsibilities into kid-friendly tasks, many of which take 15 minutes. So when Mia was a Toy Designer, she cut out a paper version of her favorite stuffed toy and we talked about things like hard costs (which she apparently doesn’t have because “Mom, I don’t pay for [that stuff]. You do!”)

What is the most surprising reaction you’ve had so far from a child?

I say this with a big smile: the most surprising reactions don’t come from kids. The real surprise reactions are from parents, who didn’t realize it could be so easy, and take so little time, to get their kids engaged in something totally worthwhile.

What is the most common challenge parents have today when teaching their children about money?

It has to be just getting started. Talking about money makes people uncomfortable. On top of this, the traditional methods (paying for chores, odd jobs, or no strings attached) aren’t much fun. Since we’re all so busy, it would seem easier to avoid the subject altogether. But then you end up with a kid who thinks the world exists to provide her with another lip balm.

What have you personally learned about money while writing this book?

I was lucky. My parents taught me early on that what we do to earn money can be even more valuable than the money itself. Which means being more open to finding a career that simply makes us feel good. And this not only makes life richer, it makes living with (and learning about) money a lot more fun. [You can follow Alisa on Twitter at @EarnMyKeep]

What experiences have you had teaching your kids about money?

© 2011 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Women’s Financial Literacy Initiative founder, Manisha Thakor, on Twitter at @ManishaThakor, sign up to get her email updates delivered right to your inbox here, and enroll in her innovative new online personal finance course called “Money Rules.”

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Do you ever tell yourself, “Some day I will…”?

After going 16 straight months in my new entrepreneurial life without taking a single day off, I slammed head first into a mental wall.

So I sought help from business strategist Alexis Martin Neely. I figured we’d dive right into my business model, but one of the first things Alexis asked was what I did for fun. Silence. Terrified that if I slowed down for a nanosecond in this economy I would plunge into the deep dark abyss of permanent career mal-function, the only word that I could manage to utter was a feeble…“Work?”

So Alexis asked me what long-term dream I’d fulfill after all this work was done and I’d finally “arrived.” No hesitation. “Take a luxury cruise,” I immediately blurted out. That was something I’d fantasized about for over 15 years but never felt I could afford to take the time off to actually do. With the encouragement of my wonderful husband and Alexis, I finally went on a Caribbean cruise.

On the enjoyment scale I’d give the cruise a 5, but on the life lesson scale it was an absolute 10. Here’s what I learned and how it can help YOU spend your hard earned money & time more mindfully.

1. Experiences give you the ultimate bang for the buck. The average age of my fellow travelers was roughly 75 (by comparison, I’m 40 years old). Many had climbed to the top of their respective industries. When I chatted with them about the most memorable moments during their working years – time and again they spoke of simple experiences: a good meal, a memorable outing, a daily ritual that brought them joy. Not one mentioned the acquisition of THINGS.

2. Few female breadwinners = no men in the laundry room. Given the age of the average traveler, it probably comes as no surprise that virtually none of the women I talked to had careers outside the home. But what really struck me was that not once during the cruise did I see a man in the on-board launderette. Instead I saw female guests of every nationality washing and ironing their husbands’ clothes. That really got me observing the dynamic between the couples. Time and again I saw the connection between earning money and having choices in a relationship. And as politically incorrect as it is to say… it was very clear to me the first often drove the later. For more on this – I highly recommend reading Leslie Bennett’s wonderful book, The Feminine Mistake.

3. Test driving your dreams can save you money and time. Because I booked the cruise at the last minute and deliberately sought out ships that were close to sail date and had extra rooms, I was able to find an Italian liner with a nearly 50% off special. It was lovely to save that money.  But what was really wonderful was realizing this “dream” that I’d had for so long really didn’t make me that happy. Cruising is for many people – I’m just not one of them. So now I know. And I’ll waste no more time day dreaming about the month-long cruise I’d once thought I’d wanted at 5x the price I had paid this go around!

What about you – what dreams are you waiting for, and what can you do today to take them for a spin?

© 2011 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Manisha on Twitter at @ManishaThakor and sign up for her weekly email updates here. Manisha also teaches an innovative online personal finance course called “Money Rules.” Founder of the Women’s Financial Literacy Initiative, Manisha can be reached via her website: www.ManishaThakor.com.

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A woman who is in the financial driver’s seat of her life

Watching the season finale of HBO’s Boardwalk Empire last night, I was struck afresh by how far we women have come. This show depicts life in Atlantic City during the Prohibition Era. There is one scene in particular that I can’t get out of my head. It’s when the lovely young widow, Mrs. Margaret Schroeder, finds a mini “tattered rag” in her piece of holiday cake while her friend receives the toy “wedding ring.” The tattered rag was a superstitious symbol that she would end up old and poor. Not long after, Mrs. Schroeder chose to place herself in the arms of the corrupt, but rich and powerful, crime boss Nucky Thompson – the very man who had her husband killed to begin with (TV, sigh, it’s complicated). What jumped out at me was the emotional pain with which this smart, ambitious mother of two concluded that in an era of limited work opportunities for women, the only way to keep her family afloat was to take up with a “Sugar Daddy.”

By contrast, in modern America there have been a number of news stories of late highlighting the rise of the female breadwinner. It started with The Shriver Report pointing out that even though women still earn $0.77 on the dollar (big grumble), nearly 4 out of 10 working mothers are the primary breadwinners in their households. When you add in working mothers who are co-breadwinners the number tops 6 out of 10.  A New York Magazine article entitled Alpha Women, Beta Men colorfully describes some of the havoc wrought by this trend while a recent Reuters piece on The Female-Breadwinner Model focuses on how to make the most of it.

As more and more women find themselves by choice or life circumstances as the primary or co-breadwinner in their households, I’ve noticed a new trend. I’m calling it “The Rise Of The Sugar Mamma.” I define the modern “Sugar Mamma” as a woman who wants to be in the financial driver’s seat of her life. She views money as a tool that gives her a voice and increases her life choices. She likes earning an income because it gives her control and the freedom to create the life that makes her heart sing. She may be single, married, a mother, or childless but the common denominator is a desire to learn how to live her life from a position of financial strength.

Now, if this sounds like I’m stuck in the 1960s, spend a few moments reading a few of the 122 Amazon reviews of one of my all time favorite books, Leslie Bennett’s The Feminine Mistake. The hardcover version came out in March 2007… before all economic heck broke loose. Women either adored – or hated – the book’s premise, that by ignoring the economic consequences of lifestyle choices, we women are putting ourselves in long-term financial danger. I can’t help but wonder what the naysayers would say today in the face of all the painful upheaval brought about by the economic downturn.

In response to the increase in women who are primary or co-breadwinners, I am renaming my blog “The Sugar Mamma Chronicles,” and will focus on providing personal finance information (and inspiration!) to working women who want to put themselves in the financial drivers seat of their lives.  My first tip for aspiring Sugar Mammas… read Leslie’s wonderful book!

© 2011 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Manisha on Twitter at @ManishaThakor, sign up to receive her weekly blog posts here, and/or enroll in her innovative online personal finance course called “Money Rules.”  Founder of the Women’s Financial Literacy Initiative, Manisha can be reached via her website: www.ManishaThakor.com.

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Do You Want To Change The World?

My friend Courtney Martin has just written a wonderful book, DO IT ANYWAY, profiling 8 activists who are striving to do just that.

I must confess… as someone who is in that awkward career stage – having left the financial services industry after 15 years to pursue my passion of teaching women to become more financially empowered – I am absolutely fascinated about the interplay between activism and money. While this is not the primary focus of Courtney’s ground-breaking new work, she was kind enough to answer the kind of questions financially inquiring minds want to know. Enjoy! (Note: you can follow Courtney on Twitter at @MartinCourtneyE)

Courtney, as Jane Fonda so eloquently says, DO IT ANYWAY addresses that most heartfelt of questions: How can I make my life meaningful?” In your conversations with the 8 amazing activist you profile, what role did money play in the answering of that question?

What commonalities (or differences) did you see amongst the way these 8 inspiring activist were raised to think about the relationship between money and societal impact?

As you were researching DO IT ANYWAY, did you notice any meaningful gender differences in the ways in which the women and men you profile related to money in the context of achieving their life’s missions?

What do you personally – as one of the most influential voices of new feminism – know about money today that you wish you had known 5 or 10 year ago as you think about the impact you want to make with your life?

What a great question! I think the most important thing I’ve learned came from my friend Chris, who actually helped me produce the short videos of each activist that you can find on our website. He’s an ad executive, a very successful guy who came from a low-income background, and he told me, “Courtney, money is just a tool. No more. No less.” I think that’s the most liberating and empowering way to look at it. It’s not your worth. It’s not your ticket to happiness. It’s simply a very powerful tool.

So, what about YOU – do you have urges to change the world & if so, what role does money play in your thinking?

© 2010 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Manisha on Twitter at @ManishaThakor and sign up for her email updates here. Starting in Fall 2010, Manisha will teach an innovative online course on “Financial Literacy 101″ for women through www.Sympoz.com. Manisha Thakor, personal finance expert for women, can be reached via her website, www.ManishaThakor.com.

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Are you worried about ending up old and poor?

The Transamerica Center for Retirement Studies, a non-profit, private foundation, recently released the results of their 11th annual survey on retirement issues. The study is packed with eye-popping data such as:

• 74% of women feel they do not know as much as they should about retirement investing
• 40% of women have $50,000 or less saved for retirement
• Only 3% of women feel knowledgeable about asset allocation

Industry veteran and President of Transamerica’s Center, Catherine Collinson, was kind enough to share her thoughts on financial advice for women and how we can “Help Women Become Golden Girls.”

What finding shocked you most about this retirement survey?

The complete lack of awareness of the issue. It’s just not on women’s radar screens… or men’s. There is a lack of awareness of the basic math in terms of calculating the impact of time in and out of the workforce on retirement savings. There’s a big difference between saving consistently over a career that spans a steady 40 years versus a career that may be limited to only 25 years due to starts and stops – which can happen when you take time to raise kids and care for elderly parents.

Why do you think women start saving at a median age of 30, two years later than men?

Again, it’s a lack of awareness and education around the urgency of the situation. One issue is where women get their financial information. As you can see in our survey report, women cite more informal sources such as family and friends whereas men cite more formal sources such a personal financial websites, retirement plan provider websites, and financial professionals.  If we can get women more engaged in types of outreach tools and resources where the info is… we can crack the code. Additionally, 32% of women say they are just getting by covering basic living expenses* vs. 25% of men. (*My hypothesis is we earn less yet are expected to groom more. Catherine also points out that industries dominated by women tend to pay less in general.)

Why do fewer women have access to 401(k) type accounts than men?

It’s a direct reflection of more women working part time than men. 81% of women who work full time have access to a 401(k) type plan versus only 50% of the women who work part time.

What steps can women take who find themselves light on retirement saving?

Start saving now and, if you’re already saving – save more. If you are over age 50, catch-up contributions are a fantastic opportunity to save more for retirement. And have a strategy. Most women don’t have one. Once you put all the pieces on the table you will find opportunities you never thought of. Think back to the show The Golden Girls – they were roommates and had a blast. It’s managing the best with what you’ve got.

In your press release you state, “It is critical for the retirement industry, media and policy makers to respond by providing information, tools and resources tailored to women to help them thrive in their golden years.” What would be some ways to do this?

It goes back to making this subject part of the normal conversation between women. For those media outlets that draw a lot of women — add this to part of the dialogue. High school is also a great place to do it. For example, I am forever glad I was required to take typing – it’s an invaluable life skill. Now, let’s add financial skills.

What last thought would you like to leave women with?

It’s never too soon to start saving for retirement and it’s never too late. We each have unique opportunities to become golden girls, but we have to educate and take action ourselves.

© 2010 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Manisha on Twitter at @ManishaThakor and sign up for her email updates here. Starting in Fall 2010, Manisha will teach an innovative online course on “Financial Literacy 101″ for women through www.Sympoz.com. Manisha Thakor, personal finance expert for women, can be reached via her website, www.ManishaThakor.com.

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• There’s a designer logo on your handbag, shoes, or clothing

• You have a key to a public storage unit

• It takes you more than an hour to clean your house

It is one of the most spot-on pieces I’ve come across on consumer behavior, and I highly recommend reading Francine’s original post in its entirety (click HERE to do so…). At the heart of this thought-provoking list are two key questions:

1. Why do I live my life the way that I do?

2. Are the things I’m currently spending money on really bringing me true happiness?

Take point number three (“It takes you more than an hour to clean your house”) as an example. So much of our nation’s current economic woes stem from housing. However, in observing people who have experienced a super-sizing of their housing situation over the past 5 to 10 years (myself included…), I’ve noticed it’s not just the house.

When you move into a nicer neighborhood, the stakes ratchet up in all facets of your life. Whether it’s bringing a “nicer” bottle of wine when you go to someone’s house for dinner or feeling obligated to send your children to “better” schools, the snowball effect of this acquisition is striking. That would be fine if: (a) you can afford to spend the money, and (b) such expenditures bring you true joy.

My hunch, however, is that for so many of us “More is Just More” (as Christine Merser, my wise friend and author of the blog Freesia Lane, would say). As I’ve mentioned before, one of the great things about this economic downturn is that it is giving so many of us a chance to pause and reboot everything from our careers and possessions to our priorities and values. As you read through Francine’s list, ask yourself it there’s anything in your life you might want to change or modify to bring your spending closer in line with what really drives your life happiness.

For me, I’m heading to the grocery store. That way I’ll kill two birds with one stone – fewer expensive meals out and more time for my husband and me to enjoy our beautiful home together over healthier meals.

What changes, if any, will you make? I’d sure love to hear…

© 2010 SingleMindedWomen.com All rights reserved. Permission to reprint this article must be obtained from SingleMindedWomen.com.

Want more financial love? You can follow Manisha on Twitter at @ManishaThakor and sign up for her email updates here. Manisha Thakor, personal finance expert for women, can be reached via her website, www.ManishaThakor.com.

What I love about this movie is that it hammers home a point that noted positive psychology (that’s fancy speak for “happiness”) researchers such as Daniel Gilbert, Martin Seligman, and Tal Ben-Shahar, have long highlighted:

Comparing yourself to others is tantamount to mental torture.

In this film, the Joneses are a “familial cell,” placed in a neighborhood by their corporate employers to sell, well, a lifestyle. They are provided with all the latest clothes, electronics, culinary delights, and athletic toys. Their instructions are to use these items publicly and with joyful abandon. Their end goal… to entice their neighbors to quite literally strive to keep up with the Joneses – by buying these items. And sooner than you can say pass the popcorn, you see in front of your own eyes how very effective this strategy is.

When I walked out of the theater after watching this movie I heard a person ask, “Do you think this kind of thing happens in real life?”

My gut response: Yep. Daily. For every time we look at an advertisement, watch a TV show with a product placement, or see a movie star walk down the red carpet “dressed by designer X”… we are being subjected to a version of The Joneses. So if you are trying to save money (and these days that’s pretty much everyone I know, myself included!), here’s my three-step action plan:

1. Watch The Joneses

2. Make a mental note of which scene(s) resonate most strongly with you.

3. Ask yourself when was the last time you had an attack of The Joneses & if recalling this scene could have helped stem your spending.

In the spirit of full disclosure I’ll kick it off. The scene that resonated most strongly with me was the one in which the kind-hearted neighbor, Larry, learns how fleeting that feeling of having the latest and greatest (in his case, a shiny red new sports car) can wear off when someone rounds the corner in an even shinier and newer coupe. It reminded me of my last “Joneses” moment. My husband and I were out to dinner with a very well dressed woman carrying a killer handbag that I was magnetically drawn to. I promptly went out and bought it, only to find out when I got home that all my stuff didn’t fit into it. Blinded by my desire to look like her, I neglected to employ common sense to make sure the darn bag was actually functional for me.

What about you – any keeping up with the Joneses stories you’d be willing to share?

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