When she did so, she broke Jake’s heart, and boy did we feel his pain!

But he’s one knight in shining armor: in fact, he’s the only guy man enough to tell her that Wes has a girlfriend (!!!!)

But did she listen? NO.

SILLY JILLY.

Well, now Jake is talking—to US.  He’ll be interviewed during my usual Tuesday 8am PT radio broadcast with Rochelle and Pam on Seattle’s KKNW Chat With Women. Afterward Pam, Rochelle and I will dish on all he’s got to say—

And it promises to be A LOT.

Don’t worry if you miss the Jake the Pilot/Chat with Women + Josie broadcast, because we’ll be uploading it here on SingleMindedWomen.com —specifically on our Bachelorette Elimination Poll page.

Which is where you, too, may be a winner! All you have to do is vote on the bachelor you think she’s dumping next week. If you’re right, your name will be included in our weekly drawing.

Prizes include:

- $100 of Sephora Make-up

- A sterling silver necklace by Big Girl Workshops

- And a copy of my book, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Finding Mr. Rightn

And the names of everyone who guessed right is put into a final grand drawing, for

- A two-night weekend stay at the  SpringHill Suites Marriott, in Downtown Seattle;

- Dinner for two at Seastar Restaurant, Seattle (wine and spirit beverages not included); and

- A full day of pampering at the Vida Spa, in downtown Seattle. The package includes the spa’s signature massage, facial manicure and pedicure, times two!

All it takes is your correct guess, each week, as to who will be eliminated.

Click here to vote!

Listen in,

—Josie Brown

SMW Relationship Channel

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Josie Brown, SingleMindedWomen.com’s Relationships Channel Editor, is the author of two novels: IMPOSSIBLY TONGUE-TIED, and TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES. Her next book, written with her husband, Martin, is the perfect self-help manual for your BFF (…okay, and for you, too). It’s THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO FINDING MR. RIGHT [September 2009]

OTHER SMW RELATIONSHIPS ARTICLES

15 Very Broad Hints that You’re Dating a Man Ho

Finding Mr. Right: His Bromance vs. Your Romance

When You Rebound for All The Wrong Reasons

Finding Mr. Right: Are You Ready for Commitment?

Should You Rebound to Your Ex? When the Answer is Yes–and When It’s No

Is Your Relationship Stressed Out? 5 Tips on Chilling Out–with Him

Finding Mr. Right: Will “Pink Viagra” Give Us Ladies a Lusty Libido?

THE BACHELOR’s Prince Charming Falls Off His Horse

Finding Mr. Right: When Rebounding Is All Wrong

So, for our first night of “platonic” living, we went to the grocery store, cooked dinner, and curled up on his bed while he showed me photos on his laptop from back home. Then we had dessert (no, that is not a euphemism) and ended the night with a massage. Tonight, I’m making him dinner.

Forget waterboarding…this has to be the cruelest form of torture. Living and doing couple-y things with someone I made out with just a couple of days ago, only platonically? I’m going to start banging my head against a wall.

-Erin xx

Check out these fab first date tips!

Lidia immigrated to the U.S. at the age of 12 and eventually settled with her family near Queens, New York. To help out financially, then 14-year-old Lidia took a job at a bakery called Walken’s Bakery, owned by the parents of actor Christopher Walken.

Fast forward 48 years and Lidia has created a culinary empire that includes six restaurants, a television production company, specialty foods and award-winning wines, and an exclusive travel company that customizes Italian travel incorporating gastronomy and Italian art history.

It can easily be said that Lidia helped food TV get to where it is now. She started on PBS in 1998, five years after cooking with Julia Child on her PBS series. Her show Lidia’s Italian-American Kitchen was an instant hit and she has been a staple on the network ever since. Her success in food seems a natural progression.

“I always knew I was comfortable with food and with being in the kitchen.” And the critically acclaimed chef also always knew that food would be where her career would lead.

A natural cook early on, she helped her maternal grandmother make gnocchi and pasta when she was a small child and hopes that her recipes bring a bit of her Italy to you, especially with her latest PBS series and book, Lidia’s Italy.

“It is a personal journey for me. And the Italy I show is an Italy that is not well known to everyone,” she explains.

“In the 35 years I have been in restaurants, television and books it is the thrust of what I do, to bring Italy to the American table, the American kitchen and American television.”

Her passion does not stop at the table though. In this series – which is running in its third season – she really wants the beauty of Italy to shine, too. “Understanding food, wine and art is really understanding Italy.”

So she brings it all to you.

Lidia takes viewers and readers on a gastronomic tour of Italy via short videos of her visits there for the show and with photos from the trips for the companion cookbook. And with the help of her daughter Tanya, an Italian Renaissance Art historian, Lidia introduces you not only to the cuisine but to the culture of Italy through art and architecture. Then it’s back to the kitchen to bring those trip’s memories to life again through food.

But it doesn’t end there, either. Because, according to Lidia, it is not the food that makes the meal, but the people who join around the table who really bring it to life.

And to get them there, just use her signature line: “Tutti a tavola a mangiare!”

Tuna, Capers and Warm Potato Salad

Insalata di Capperi e Tonno, Reprinted from Lidiasitaly.com

Pantelleria is an island half way between Sicily and the northern shore of Africa. It is an arid island but what grows there is intense in flavor. Some of the best Italian passito wines–those made from grapes that are partially dried on the vine and sometimes further dried on straw mats in the cantina– such as bukkharam by Marco de Bortoli come from there. The capers of Pantelleria are the absolute best.

Capers are the aromatic white pink flowers of Copparis spinosa–a trailing prickly plant that grows on walls and stones. In springtime, the unopened buds of these flowers are picked and preserved by either pickling them in brine or salting them. The smaller the bud the more intense the flavor and the more precious the merchandise. Capers have been used to season food in the Mediterranean basin from antiquity.

Serves 6

3 medium Idaho potatoes

2 medium-size ripe tomatoes, cored, halved and cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices

1/2 medium-size red onion, sliced thin

6 basil leaves, washed and shredded thin

4 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

3 tablespoons red wine vinegar

Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

One 6-ounce can tuna packed in olive oil

1/2 cup small (nonpareil) capers in brine (preferably from Pantelleria), drained

Preheat the oven to 400 F. Bake the potatoes directly on the oven rack until very tender when pierced with a knife, about 40 minutes. Remove and let stand just until cool enough to handle.

In a mixing bowl, stir together the tomatoes, onion, basil, oil and vinegar until blended. Season to taste with salt and pepper and set aside.

Peel the potatoes and cut them into 1/2-inch-thick slices. In a mixing bowl, toss the potatoes and tuna with its oil. Add capers and tomato basil dressing. Toss well, adjust the seasoning and serve.

For more of Lidia’s recipes visit lidiasitaly.com
________________________________________

More Food & Wine features:
In the Kitchen: The Ladies of ‘The Next Food Network Star’
A Spiced Life
In the Kitchen: Cooking with Iron Chef Cat Cora
Celebrate Summer: Cookouts & Cocktails

You’ve died and gone to hedonistic heaven, or you’re in Key West, Florida, for Fantasy Fest.

This year’s Fantasy Fest features even more outrageous debauchery and includes events celebrating 30 years of masquerade madness. Starting Oct. 23 and running through Nov. 1, the festivities kick off with the annual Goombay Festival and the Royal Coronation Ball, where you can cast your vote for the King and Queen from 2008.

The Events

The 27th Annual Headdress Ball, a celebrity look alike contest, Sloppy Joe’s 26th Annual Toga Party, and Rum Barrel’s 3rd Annual Pirate Bash are just a few of the events that take place on the island. If that’s not enough to inspire the purchase of a plane ticket, there’s also the Pimp and Ho Party, the Living Airbrush Expo, and the Monster’s Ball where sea serpents, mermaids, and other creatures of the deep come to spread their warped water wings.

Invention is the Mother of Necessity

Fantasy Fest was developed in order to bring tourists to the area in the slow season when the weather is still beautiful and businesses need a boost to survive until next season.

Officials created an annual Halloween time festival with a carnival-like atmosphere to celebrate life and the lack of inhibition in costumes or in drag.

On the Heels of Tradition

Air brushing of naked bodies, mostly from the midriff up, has become an annual tradition and competition. If I dare say so, the art transcends parameters, from absolutely scandalous to tastefully done. Women’s breasts take on a metamorphosis, becoming the eyes of a tiger or the ears of an elephant. An entire menagerie of painted bodies walking up and down the street, where no two are the same, can be found at any given time, dancing and laughing. People pose for pictures as if they were the headliners at the circus.

Due to the flamboyant nature of its inhabitants and their free-spirited sense of adventure, Key West has become encapsulated as a result of Fantasy Fest. It has become an annual event that is a must see for anyone gay or straight.

I have danced in the streets, though my “eyes” and “ears” were safely tucked away in their padded cages. I bellied up at Sloppy Joe’s, drank rum with Captain Morgan and ate a cheeseburger in paradise at Margaritaville. The background music was vintage Buffet, “Why don’t we get drunk and …”

I sang all the way back to my hotel and when I got there, everyone awake sang with me.

_______________________________________________________

Jody Yetti, a single woman business owner and seasoned traveler, has been in the travel industry for more than 20 years. She owns Jody’s Travel Inc., a full-service travel agency for single women and other savvy travelers, located in Shirley, NY. Jody can be reached at 631-281-3636 or email hidden; JavaScript is required.

Allow me to explain. I’ve just moved into a cool new flat with two Italian men. (Tragic, I know.) Well, on my second day in the flat, Italian #1 and I hit a few bars and wind up making out on the way home. And the next day. And the day after that. You get the idea.

Of course, there are complications beyond the fact that we share a kitchen and bathroom. Like the fact that he’s going back to Italy at the end of the month. Or that, as readers may remember, I am still technically romantically entangled with the Brazilian. What’s Italian for “danger”?

Well, after fielding texts from the Brazilian worried about my new housing situation (psychic, that one), and a little boozy from some beers I drank celebrating Canada Day with friends, I decided to broach the subject of our situation with my flatmate. Eventually, it was decided that we should stop our little amore sessions for the sake of domestic bliss. And I don’t know how I feel about that. Kind of bummed, if I’m honest. I’m already dreading that night when he brings a girl over…which is why I’ve invited the Brazilian over tomorrow night. Petty, perhaps, but a girl needs a little pre-emptive strike.

-Erin xx

Planning a movie date? Check out these summertime chick flicks.

How is this like your own life? If Lakshmi were to wander by your home, wanting to find you and give you gifts of wealth, beauty and abundance – would she be able to get in the door?

The organization and cleanliness of your environment are of key importance to your success. Make sure Laskshmi will always be able to bless you by helping clear the path for her.

1) De-Clutter NOW!

Get rid of anything that is not being used and is not of value to you. If you are surrounded by garbage, clutter, worn out and/or used up useless items – what kind of a tone is that setting? Throw away your garbage, donate any useable excess supplies, clothing, clutter that could be of use to others to the GoodWill (heaven knows there are many in need who could benefit from your useable, clean donations) and clean. If you current work space is messy, cluttered and jammed full of useless items – where are you intending the wealth you want to go? A clean and clutter free environment will help set the stage (and clear the space) for abundance to find you!

2) Organize (R.E.S.P.E.C.T.)

You need to respect your money and possessions! Since money is currency, and currency is energy, a disrespected state of affairs around the house, on your desk and in your car is telling wealth – “I’m not ready for you – I can’t handle what I’ve got!” Respect your bank statements, stock updates, account holdings and important files as well. After all, those are just other forms of money. If your bank statements are never reconciled, credit card statements are stacked unopened and you really never pay attention to what you’re spending, where you’re spending it or what value you’re getting from how you spend it – your money is going to treat you with the same lack of respect. Stay clear, clean and organized with your money and it will respect you right back. And remember – this is a CONSISTENT practice. Consistency is the key (isn’t that just true of
life!).

3) Make it Beautiful

Your workspace should reflect your inner-self. Is it calm and peaceful? Bright and vibrant? Colorful and energized? Soothing and harmonious? Whatever your style – make sure your workspace is beautiful. How about writing out your vision for yourself or for your creative purpose and framing it at your desk so you can always be clear about what you’re working towards? I long ago switched out multiple photos of friends, family and favorite travel memories for a beautiful wooden framed digital photo display – so I don’t have to change the photos every week. Whatever the means and taste for making your space beautiful – do it now.

Remember: Lakshmi is the goddess of wealth and spiritual abundance – as well as
beauty!

–Jill Brown

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: www.theduchessguide.com

SMW RELATIONSHIPS ARTICLES

15 Very Broad Hints that You’re Dating a Man Ho

Finding Mr. Right: His Bromance vs. Your Romance

When You Rebound for All The Wrong Reasons

Finding Mr. Right: Are You Ready for Commitment?

Should You Rebound to Your Ex? When the Answer is Yes–and When It’s No

Not Close to Your Sister? Here’s How to Change That

Are you Dating a Relationship Terminator?

Always the Bridesmaid? Five Must-Do’s Before You Say “I Do”

Is Your Relationship Stressed Out? 5 Tips on Chilling Out–with Him

Finding Mr. Right: Will “Pink Viagra” Give Us Ladies a Lusty Libido?

THE BACHELOR’s Prince Charming Falls Off His Horse

I know of what I speak.

In October of 2000, I joined an online dating service with equal parts excitement and trepidation. I was ready to kick my dating life into a higher gear but worried about getting stuck in a treadmill of dating men that would end in disappointment. What if I had to deal with years of first dates? What if I wasn’t cut out for online dating? That’s why I came up with a plan:

I vowed to date 10 guys on the dating site before quitting. It felt like a perfectly reasonable and safe number for a trial period.

Plan in tow, I took a deep breath, filled out my profile as best as I could, and posted it. Before I knew it, I was receiving a flood of emails asking me out (I later learned that guys can’t resist a fresh new profile). The first fellow that I wrote back to was a sweet math teacher who was easy to chat with; when we met up, however, I couldn’t imagine holding hands with him, much less kissing. The next few dates were essentially the same—nice guys, no sparks–and I told myself that maybe chemistry blooms easier on a second or third date.

It didn’t. In full confession, there were a couple of guys that made me feel giddy but who didn’t have the hots for me. So on and on I went until, approximately one year after joining, I hit the 10th date. There were no dating fiascoes to report but, that said, I was relieved to end the journey. I’d met my limit and could check online dating off the list.

A few days later when I received an email from the 11th guy to contact me, I sent him an email with some made up a reason for why I was no longer available, and then took down my profile. But two days later, No. 11 sent another email that was so endearing and funny, I had to reconsider. What could one coffee with him hurt? Was I really so determined to be done that I couldn’t spare an hour out of my life? I called him up and we planned to meet for coffee the next Sunday. It was amazing. We sat for hours revealing our intimate stories and belly laughing at our most humbling moments; chemistry showed up right away. I’d forgotten how effortless dating could be. Two years later we married, and we now have a four-year-old daughter.

I remind myself on occasion that I easily could have missed meeting my husband had I kept my guard up and my self-imposed deadline “in check.” Falling in love (and, frankly, lots of life’s sweetest pleasures) are possible only when we keep ourselves open and trust that we can take care of ourselves if we do get hurt. We’re not nearly as fragile as we sometimes suspect.

________________________________________________________

Michelle Cove is the director of Seeking Happily Ever After, a feature-length documentary that explores why there are more single women than ever in the U.S. and whether women are redefining happily ever after. See http://www.seekinghappilyeverafter.com (and please take the 3-minute questionnaire while you’re there). Michelle is also a journalist and bestselling author, working currently on a self-help book based on her research from Seeking Happily Ever After.

Watch this “behind the scenes” clip for Michelle’s Seeking Happily Ever After…

OTHER SMW RELATIONSHIPS ARTICLES

15 Very Broad Hints that You’re Dating a Man Ho

Finding Mr. Right: His Bromance vs. Your Romance

When You Rebound for All The Wrong Reasons

Finding Mr. Right: Are You Ready for Commitment?

Should You Rebound to Your Ex? When the Answer is Yes–and When It’s No

Are you Dating a Relationship Terminator?

Is Your Relationship Stressed Out? 5 Tips on Chilling Out–with Him

Finding Mr. Right: Will “Pink Viagra” Give Us Ladies a Lusty Libido?

THE BACHELOR’s Prince Charming Falls Off His Horse

Finding Mr. Right: When Rebounding Is All Wrong

We’ve all had them. Some of us (cough, cough) have had more than our share. So let’s hear those tales of woe. Did he hit on the waitress and pretend to leave his wallet at home? Did he get wasted and chase you around like Benny Hill drenched in Axe body spray? Spill the dirty details.

Here’s mine: Date 1 had gone okay, but I’d been gone for three months for a summer internship, so when I returned, I wasn’t exactly that keen for Date 2. Nevertheless, I agreed, even though I had just started seeing someone else (I know!). So this guy takes me to play pool, which I hate because I am terrible at pool. Naturally, he took the opportunity to keep wrapping his arms around me to “show me how to work the cue.” Ugh. I batted him away. The pissier I felt, the worse my playing got, and finally he agreed that we could leave.

But when Loverboy was driving me home, he passed my exit. “Um, I live over there,” I said, panicking. He had other ideas—a nightcap at his house. Needless to say, I wasn’t pleased. Nor was I pleased when we entered his apartment—decorated in Sesame Street and Toy Store memorabilia, by the way—and he turned on a particularly raunchy episode of “Sex and the City.” Readers, there is nothing worse than having to watch people having sex while sitting with someone who wants to have sex with you, but you wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot pole. He made his move, I leaped away, and confessed to liking someone else.

His response: Pure anger. He acted as though I had been cheating on him (we’d been on one date three months prior, remember?), and then said he driving me home (hooray!). He didn’t say a single word to me in the car…not that I minded. I may have done a cartwheel the second I got inside my house.

Alright…so let’s hear your stories!

-Erin xx

Click here for a hot little black dress that’s perfect for your next (successful!) date.

Keeping Cool This Summer

The heat is on! With the official start of summer here, it’s time to give some thought to watching for signs of heatstroke and sunburn.

Think you have that topic covered already? Well, think again. Every year millions of us are the victims of heatstroke and sunburn, even though we assume we know the do’s and don’ts of fun in the sun. Here are our tips for keeping your cool…

5 Ways to Get Rid of a Hangover

Margaritas, Mojitos, and Sex on the Beach. Whatever the drink, if you have too much of it, you’re sure to wake up with a pounding headache. Here are some sure-fire ways to keep that hangover from ruining your summer.

Yummy Tummies

Bikini weather means barely-there abs…for some of us. For others, it’s another reason to buy a mou-mou. If you’d rather be into the former category, these five steps will get you a flatter stomach,  just in time to take advantage of all the bathing suit sales.

Cancer: Skin Deep and Deadly

Summer is the time we take advantage of all the great outdoors has to offer. Whereas it great to have fun in the sun, cancer can be skin deep—unless you take the necessary precautions. SMW’s primer on skin cancers is a must-read.

Ice Cream: Should You Scream?

Besides being the single woman’s universal comfort food, ice cream holds a special place in our hearts when summer rolls around. Diet-permitting, should you give yourself permission to dig into that cold bowl of Heavenly Hash (or your favorite flavor)? That depends. In this article, you’ll find that ingredients go a long way in bringing you (soy) joy.

The Dark Side of Lightning

Summer is prime time for lightning storms. With global warming, we’re seeing more of these every summer. What dangers do they hold for you and your loved ones, and how can you protect yourself during a thunderstorm? We’ve got some enlightening tips.

Safety Tips for Resistance Training

Affordable Fitness: How to Work Out at Home

Flusteria: Are We In a Swine Flue Epidemic?

More Work Required

Women in general face numerous career challenges.

Yes, today women run multinational corporations, state and local governments, and of course run for president. But, even though Hillary Clinton says the glass ceiling now has 18 million cracks in it, the glass ceiling still exists.

For example, the ratio of women’s to men’s weekly earnings was 79.9 in 2008, which the Institute for Women’s Policy Research (IWPR) points out is the third consecutive year of decline since reaching a height of 81.0 percent in 2005. In other words, when it comes to equal pay, things aren’t getting better.

And career opportunities aren’t as plentiful as might be believed either, particularly when climbing the upper rungs of the corporate ladder.

Research from Catalyst, a leading nonprofit membership organization working globally with businesses and the professions to build inclusive workplaces and expand opportunities for women and business, finds that in 2008 women held only 15.7 percent of corporate officer positions; a mere 6.2 percent of top earner positions; and only 15.2 percent of board director positions.

Although in many ways the workplace has dramatically improved for women in comparison to decades past, career-minded women clearly face more challenges than their male colleagues.

When Single

Single women may find that on top of these challenges there may be others unique to their marital status, particularly if a single woman has no children.

Company benefits offerings, for example, tend to favor married employees and employees with children. Maternity and paternity leave are common, as is subsidized childcare.

In a similar vein, it is generally acceptable for employees with children and spouses to take time off from work to accommodate family responsibilities. This often leaves single employees, both women and men, to pick up the slack.

It also assumed that single employees are available to work extra hours, travel for business, and generally dedicate themselves more to the job. After all, they have no other obligations or interests, right?

For single women, these expectations may actually compromise career success. Women, who tend to accommodate others, may be reluctant to speak up. As a result, a single woman may find herself working longer hours and traveling more frequently than she’d like. In effect, she may find herself in a role that isn’t right for her.

There are also subtleties of the employment experience that affect a single woman’s work life.

Business travel as a single woman, for example, can present situations that a married woman is less likely to face. Company parties that include spouses or partners can also be difficult to navigate solo.

Not Alone

The good news is forward-thinking employers, like those recognized as SMW Certified, have begun to recognize the need for policies and practices that accommodate all members of the workforce, including single women.

One reason motivating employers to move in this direction is that single women make up the majority of female workers. That’s right: Single women represent 54 percent of all women in the workforce, according to U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) data.

Smart employers also know to craft policies and implement practices that consider single mothers, as many single women also share this status. A report released last summer by the Democratic staff of the Joint Economic Committee of the U.S. Congress finds one-quarter of all children are raised by single mothers.

Ultimately, each single woman seeking a career opportunity must weigh company offerings, culture, and compromises in the context of her individual circumstances. Going forward, however, as more employers become enlightened, fewer compromises should be required.

More SMW Career Advice:

Brand Yourself with a Personal Website

Increasing Your Market Value

Single Women and Body Language at Work