This past year, one of my good friends was faced with a tough dilemma: should she break up with her boyfriend? They had been together for well over a year, and he’s a great guy. However, it seemed like they were in a rut and constantly arguing. Not an easy decision.

She decided to try and stick it out, and now they are better than ever. While I am extremely happy for her, I am left wondering how one makes a judgement call like this.

To break up with him could mean ending something amazing and never getting it back. To stay with him could have meant dragging out an eventual break up. How do you know when something is worth fighting for?

–Maggie

That’s right, ladies, late-night dining-at-its-finest takes place in all sorts of Los Angeles eateries, and we’ve got some hot spots for you to try on your next trip to LA. Don’t miss a few of our favorites next time you’re alone in the City of Angels:

NAPA VALLEY GRILLE: Wine country found a home in Westwood. Step into the warm dining room, ask for a seat near the exhibition kitchen, and escape into the evening. Chef Joseph Gillard and his team use organic vegetables and fruits, make their pasta in house daily, and hand-select all the meats and seafood/fish for the menu every day. Our suggestion: alert your waiter to any allergies and then tell him to bring you whatever the chef suggests. Quite simply, you’ll think you’ve fallen into food heaven. Whether or not you’ve saved room for dessert is irrelevant, because you’re going to have some anyway. Pastry Chef Manuel Ortega creates desserts that combine his experience in painting and architectural design with the science of baking and the art of plating desserts. Unless you’re craving something specific, order the Laura Chenel Goat Cheese Tart. Dressed with orange blossom honey, the tart will satisfy every want and desire you crave from a good dessert. One bite and you’re not sure what to take home: the dessert itself, or Ortega for creating it.

Napa Valley Grille (http://www.napavalleygrille.com/)
1100 Glendon Avenue Los Angeles, CA 90024
310.824.3322; Hours: Mon-Thurs 5:30 pm – 10:00 pm; Fri-Sat 5:00 pm–11:00 pm; Sunday 5:00 pm–9:00 pm; Happy Hour (Bar & Patio) Mon–Sat 3:00pm – 7:00pm, 9:00pm – 12:00am

PINK’S: It’s one of the most famous late-night eateries in Los Angeles, which is obvious by the lines of people waiting for a snack at all hours of the night. Your best bet? Get in line early and keep a power bar in your bag in case you get hungry. PINK’S is famous for its chili cheese dogs so if you’re going to go, you might as well go all the way.  We love it because it’s always lively. The people in line are excited to be here, the staff is super friendly and thanks to the combinations of hot dogs they put together, you won’t lack a conversation starter if you get bored while waiting.

Pink’s (http://www.pinkshollywood.com/)
709 N La Brea Ave Los Angeles, CA 90038
(323) 931-4223; Hours: Sun-Thu 9:30am-2am, Fri-Sat 9:30am-3am

MEL’S DRIVE-IN: This Hollywood staple is a must-see for any single woman on a milkshake mission. The diner’s 50s-style decor is fun, flirty and full of history. Check out the walls for some of your favorite photos of celebrities and TV shows. The original Mel’s is in San Francisco and served as a backdrop to  a little movie you might remember called “American Graffiti.” Today, Mel’s still creates great burgers and the best milkshakes this side of Rodeo. Depending on how late you stick around,  you might even spot your favorite celeb.

Mel’s Drive-In (http://www.melsdrive-in.com/)
1660 N Highland Ave Los Angeles, CA 90028
(323) 465-3111; Hours: 24 hours a day/7 days a week

TASTY GARDEN: This late-night Chinese restaurant is more than spare ribs and egg rolls. It’s known for its clay pot and French-style filet mignon and is one of the few authentic Hong Kong style cafes in the area. The menu features a variety of Hong Kong specialties as well as traditional Cantonese dishes. But, the Tasty Garden Restaurant is most famous for its Hot Pot Rice – a sticky rice combined with meat or vegetables that is cooked in a digitalized oven to save time and avoid over cooking. This oven can automatically adjust the time and the intensity of cooking based on the nature of the food.  This stuff sticks to the bones!

Tasty Garden (http://www.tastygarden.us/)
288 West Valley Blvd. #110, Alhambra
(626) 300-8262; Hours: Sunday through Thursday 11 a.m. to 1 a.m/weekends until 3 a.m.

TENGU: Hands down the best sushi in Westwood, Tengu is the perfect place for ladies to dine alone. The bar area is small and intimate, allowing you the option to work, read or watch TV on the LCD screen; the sushi bar is packed with foodies and staffed with not only the best sushi chefs around, but the most friendliest. Grab a seat at the counter and let them work their magic for you. Caveat: This isn’t necessarily a late-night destination the way all-night diners rave, but it is a great spot for solo travelers to kill some time before going back to the hotel.

Tengu (http://www.tengu.com)
10853 Lindbrook Drive, Westwood California 90024
Dinner: Sun-Thurs, 5:30-10:30 & Fri-Sat, 5:30-11:00

Yesterday I took some family friends to the local skating rink. Ohhhhhhhh, the memories.

I was instantly taken back to grade school parties at the rink; the smell of stale popcorn and musty skates greeted me the moment I walked into the door. Skating parties were my first social dates. Girls would get dressed up, guys would tease, someone always left broken-hearted. Ah, the drama of adolescent dating.

In the midst of this, however, I couldn’t notice the change. Not in the rink itself, which probably hasn’t been painted since 1975, but in me. No longer was I swept up in that enthusiastic, awkward, confusing, exciting wave of first crushes. Mind you the crowd was all ten years younger than me, but even the skate rental guy I was flirting with, who used to be way too old, was suddenly way too young.

What happened to those days of youthful highs and lows? The endless optimism, the thrill at just holding someone’s hand? Has dating as adults made us forget the charm of when we first started?

–Maggie

I recently interviewed Dr. Michelle for Single Minded Women and all the ladies who want to know more about what she does, how she helps and to learn about the great new partnership she’s forged with VTech Communications and their “Stay Grounded” campaign.

I started by asking Dr. Michelle why she got into her particular field. “I wanted to help people get the best information possible for their health, relationships and well being,” she explained to me. “When I was earning my PhD at Yale, we were learning about how individuals cope with challenges and what keeps them motivated in a clinical and academic way – but I wanted to learn how to bridge that gap and provide real tools to the common person for solving problems and understanding relationships.”

“That sounds like it was likely the motivation behind your book, Ms: Typed, too?”

“Yes,” Dr. Michelle explained that she was going on TV shows and answering questions and finding out that often the questions were about fixing the other person in the relationship. “So,” she said, “I wanted to help these women realize that it’s better to choose the right kind of person to begin with than to start trying to make them different after you’re dating or in a relationship.” I couldn’t agree more with Dr. Michelle’s “start with self” approach to dating! Her book Ms. Typed, is about self-identifying the major “types” of dater/woman you are first and then she explains and provides specific advice and help based on your self identification. Start with where you are – then go out and find a partner who fits you (no more changing others!).

So I asked Dr. Michelle, “what is ‘Stay Grounded’ (staygrounded.com) and can you tell us a little more about it?” She explained that ‘Stay Grounded’ is really about getting people connected. In our increasingly social media and technology driven world, we may be connecting more often to more people, but it’s been shown in tests and studies that deeper communication fosters well being. And deeper communication comes through talking. VTech is starting the ‘Stay Grounded’ campaign to remind people that talking, conversations and meaningful conversations equate to happier people with more grounded relationships. I couldn’t agree with that more myself! I personally love my Twitter followers and Facebook friends but when it comes to deep conversations I’ll always call my sister, mom or best friend to talk through issues, joys and personal subjects.

As a special offer for Single Minded Women’s readers and in celebration of Dr. Michelle Callahan’s involvement with the ‘Stay Grounded’ website and campaign, VTech is offering a special giveaway of their LS6245 phone! Just leave us a comment below with your contact email or email me directly at jill@singlemindedwomen.com with the subject “Stay Grounded” and you’ll be entered to win. We’ll announce the winner in next week’s Duchess Digest column and one lucky Single Minded reader will get a new VTech LS6245 phone!

Enter to win and be sure to check out Dr. Michelle through the ‘Stay Grounded’ campaign or on her website, DrMichelle.com.

-Jill Brown

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves for dating success.  For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/

SMW DUCHESS DIGEST INSPIRATION

Duchess Digest: Cinderella Was A Liar!

Duchess Digest: When Life Gives you Liz Lemons

Duchess Digest: I Am Not Carrie Bradshaw!

Gone is the stereotype of being a city where wheelchair bound chain smokers stop off to blow their last pension check. Instead, Atlantic City is now glittering with modern day glam accented with a bit of nostalgia inducing retro style chic that throws back to the city’s heyday years during the ’30s and ’40s. Back then, the Atlantic City Boardwalk was the place to be seen. But today, celebrity chefs are planting themselves inside casino kitchens and their loyal fans are following them.
The Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa paved the way for celeb chefs when it opened back in 2003. Wolfgang Puck, Bobby Flay and Michael Mina all brought their brand of culinary wonder to AC with restaurants like Bobby Flay Steak, Wolfgang Puck American Grille, Mina’s Seablue restaurant.

Harrah’s Entertainment’s has bumped up its culinary profile with restaurants including George Perrier and Chris Scarduzio’s Mia in Ceasars Atlantic City (a Harrah’s property) and McCormick and Schmick’s Seafood Restaurant and the Viking Cooking School, both located in the  the Harrah’s  hotel. Mario Batali and Cat Cora have both made appearances at the hotel in “Iron Chef” style food events events and the Steakhouse at Harrah’s serves up steaks, chops and raw seafood options that give the Manhattan’s best steakhouses a run for their money at a fraction of the price.

Celebrity chef Kerry Simon calls the Atlantic City Hilton home for his steakhouse, Simon Prime. Even rock star Sammy Hagar is in on the action. He has partnered with Bally’s in a beach club reminiscent of his famous Mexico nightclub Cabo Wabo. His AC beach bar offers American fused Mexican food along with a variety of cocktails made with Hagar’s very own Cabo Wabo tequila.

With all these names, you’d think you were in Hollywood, not New Jersey. Atlantic City has certainly developed quite the culinary scene for itself.   So much so,  Food Network has decided to partner with Harrah’s and sponsor  the  Altantic City Food & Wine Festival this year. With high profile festivals in South Beach, New York and Aspen, the network’s decision to host an AC event says a lot about the future of food there.

Big names like Sandra Lee, Emeril Lagasse, Guy Fieri and Paula  Deen are all on the roster of events including culinary panel discussions, cooking classes and cocktail parties. The three day festival takes place July 29-August 1 and proceeds benefit the Susan G. Komen foundation and is expected to draw close to 20,000 guests.

Tickets for events like the Food Network Festival Kick-Off Oarty and   Guy Fieri’s Cheesesteak Battle are still available online. There is even a Jersey Tomato Brunch With Claire Robinson and a Boardwalk party hosted by Paula Deen.

Now, those are tickets worth spending some of your paycheck on.

Having remained friends with so many guys I’ve dated, I feel like it’s harder to shed that attachment. I still care very much for some of them. If I continue to feel this way, but proceed to date a guy I really care about, am I emotionally cheating on him?

Relationships have an ambiguity that raises so many moral questions. I try not to burn bridges with men, but will allowing myself to care for them eventually sabotage every relationship I will have? Or will a relationship come along that is so meaningful that all of my exes will become irrelevant?

–Maggie

Here are some tips from my book, “Playing the Lying Game,” that can help you get to the truth.

How to Spot a Lie

One sign of a possible lie is when there are contradictions in what someone says or does, such as when a co-worker tells you one thing about a project and later tells you something else. Another sign is if somebody’s behavior suddenly changes. For example, they suddenly start looking and dressing better, while claiming to have financial problems, or don’t call when they say they’re going to call as they have in the past.

Another clue is if someone is oddly nervous, if you ask them about something they did at a certain time or if they hesitate when you ask for a specific detail, such as what they did on a particular project. People have different ways of being nervous about things and can be naturally forgetful, but the clue is when they act differently from the way they usually act. For instance, if someone is unusually nervous or if someone who hasn’t been very talkative suddenly gives you a detailed explanation about something, such behavior could be a sign of lying, because it’s a change from how people usually are.

That change in behavior is what investigators look for when they conduct lie detector tests. They first use a series of questions to see how a person responds when they give honest answers to create a baseline; then they can tell when somebody’s lying from the change from the person’s baseline behavior.

Other Signs

You might also look for any recent changes in the person’s behavior or schedule, and consider if anything might provide an innocent explanation for the change or not. For example, if somebody is working on an outside project that could be a reason why they have less time to complete an assignment at work, but they don’t want to admit they are moonlighting. So if nothing else explains why that person is changing his or her behavior or if that person isn’t around as much or seems evasive, those may be signs of lying.

There are a few select men in my life with whom I can picture a not unhappy future. Yes, I could spend the rest of my life with him, but no, I can’t see us ever falling in love. That being said–is love necessary in a happily ever after?

I do love these guys and would do anything for them without question. I feel like, in some cases, they are the closest thing I have to a boyfriend right now. If I lived my whole life without falling in love with someone, would companionship be enough?

–Maggie

I would like to think that in every relationship there is the utmost honesty between the couple. As ideal as this may sound, it’s just that…. an idealistic thought. My question is, at what point do we decide what to disclose and what to keep to ourselves?

This question can be applied to many aspects of the relationship, like cheating, for example. Is it worth it to tell our significant other something he may otherwise never find out just for the sake of honesty? Is honesty overrated?

I don’t think any person can answer this question unless she is in the position of holding a secret or the position of just having been told one. I know that I struggle to take a stance on the topic.

What do you think?

–Maggie

Thanks to a lull in my travels – a rare but welcome event – I found myself at home in Boston for a few weeks in July. My goal: Get out with my shoes! The truebalance 850 challenge has me excited to lace up my shoes in the morning and get walking, but not just because of the exercise. In the three weeks I’ve been wearing the shoes I’ve actually started to notice a change in how my legs look. I have more definition in my calves and thighs, and while I haven’t lost inches I’ve found the definition has given me a new reason to wear shorts.

Armed with a few Saturdays in the city, I decided to branch out and hit the ‘burbs. I grabbed a friend, jumped in the car and drove to Danvers for some fresh fruit picking at Conners Farm. Connors has been a Massachusetts institution since 1904 when the Conners family started farming on the open acres. It began as a “truck farm” meaning that all of the crops were trucked into Boston to be sold wholesale.  Over the years, the Conners family tried to sell corn on their own by creating a small roadside stand on part of the property.  The success of the ‘corn farm’ was so great, the Conners family continued to grow and plant various fruits and vegetables for visitors. Today,  the farm includes 140 acres of corn, tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries, squash, pumpkins, apples, peaches, cut flowers and more. On this particular day, blueberries and raspberries were ripe and we grabbed our baskets and went out to the fields. We baked in the oppressive Boston heat and when the baskets were sufficiently full, we headed home for some baking of the sweet kind.

At the end of the day, I had burned a sufficient amount of calories, consumed a good amount of fresh baked blueberry cake, and had taken my tennis shoes for a new walk in a familiar destination.

Moral of the story: When you get bored of your surroundings, lace up your shoes and head out for something new in your city. It’s a great way to experience a familiar destination and, if you’re like me, you’ll have something tasty to look forward to in the end.

Want to be part of the TravelFIT challenge and try for a chance to win your own pair of New Balance truebalance 850 and a travel gift bag from Passport Boutique? Click here for more info.

Week 1: Santa Monica, California

Week 2: Stretching