Is Shouting Really the New Spanking?
By Allison O'Connor
Remember when the New York Times ran an article: For Some Parents, Shouting is the New Spanking. Well, this got me thinking, are we really yelling at our kids more today than yesterday? After speaking with several family therapists, the answer is yes and for a variety of reasons which include:
1). It has become socially unacceptable to spank your child. Remember the backlash Kate Gosselin received when photos of her spanking one of her crying children appeared in all the tabloids and on TV? I remembered several news reports questioning if this constituted child abuse.
For years now, parenting experts have been promoting cool, calm, collective reasoning in order to get your point across with your child. As a parent, I know that sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.
If you’re a single mom struggling with anger issues, I recommend you read Nancy Carlson-Paige’s article; Managing Anger Between Parent and Child. In it, Carlson-Paige offers excellent advice for single moms on how to deal with anger so you can reduce the number of volatile blow-ups.
2). Economic and emotional stresses have taken a toll on everyone. Little things that you would normally brush off, now trigger emotions that manifest itself in explosive behavior that may sometimes be directed at your child. Knowing this will make it easier for you to sit down with your child afterwards and explain your outburst. Growing up in a house where displaced anger is a daily occurrence, will eventually take its toll on you and your child. In fact, long-term screaming at your child may be perceived as rejection. To learn more about controlling your anger, read Dr. Susan Bartell’s article: Stress Relief Tips for Single Moms.
As a single parent, losing control in inevitable from time to time. Remember, you are often doing the job of two parents; raising children, juggling work and all of the other everyday demands of life. Give yourself and your children a break. Look for ways in which you can reduce your stress, whether it is through meditation, exercise, acupuncture, talking with friends and family or therapy. Ongoing anger and frustration is not healthy for anyone.
To learn more about how you can control your anger and work toward a happy and harmonious home, visit these resources:
If you are a single mom and have learned how to control your anger, please share your tips with our readers in the comment box below.
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