Online Dating Tips for Single Moms
By Renee Rayles
A few years ago a girlfriend and I decided to try online dating at the same time. For some reason trying it together seemed to kill the stigma that we couldn’t get a date without some type of assistance. We both happened to be single moms and thought this would be a great way to meet new people. What a ride it became!
We started with Match.com and before I knew it, I had 988 and views on my profile. This made nervous. Had someone from work seen my profile? Did the whole world know I was in search of finding someone? Then I stopped and thought, isn’t that what everyone desires?
Online dating is easy, fast and quickly becoming the most popular way to meet people. In fact, Online Dating Magazine (2007) estimates that more than 20 million people visit at least one online dating service a month. Eharmony.com boasts on average, 236 of their members marry everyday.
There are a number of online dating sites to choose from. Some are free and some have monthly fees with added perks for signing up for multiple months. Before you commit to any one site, take some time and comparision shop. Some sites have extensive profile requirements and others have less strigent sing-up requirements. Finding the site or sites that works best with you and your personality will increase your chances of successful matching.
Benefits of Online Dating:
Flexibility: You can contact people online around your schedule, say after the kids are in bed, during your lunch hour or dare I say it, on a break from work.
Control: You decided when the time is right to take your online relationship to the next level, whether it’s a phone call or your first meeting.
Online Dating Tips:
According to Audrey Valeriani the author of Boot Camp for the Brokenhearted: How To Survive (and be Happy) in the Jungle of Love, the more clear single moms are on their profiles, the more likely they will be to attract someone who understands the complexities of being a parent-but is still looking to have fun and find love,” says Valeriani. “It is vital to find someone who understands that your life as a parent will undoubtedly involve last minute changes, interruptions, strains as well as all the silly celebrations that come with parenting.”
*Remember to never give away personal information about you or your children.
Tip: You want your profile reflect your personality. Do you like traveling? Where have you been or want to go? What are your hobbies and interest? Remember, the goal is to be honest and open about yourself so that you can increase your chances of finding the perfect match.
Tip: Don’t stress making your headline something too creative or inventive. Don’t be overly serious. Think of this as your first hello to someone.
Tip: Include a few photos (casual shots and one full body shot) of yourself that are current.
Tip: Don’t misrepresent yourself. Don’t lie about your income, height, weight or age. If you are looking for a serious match, you don’t want to start a relationship off that is built on a series of untruths.
Tip: Ask for more photos of your potential match. If you have a body shot of yourself online ask your match for one too.
Tip: Remember some men and women will use a more flattering photo from the past or misrepresent other physical features. Don’t fall into that trap. Be honest about your appearance and emphasize your positive physcial attributes.
The First Meeting
Tip: The first meeting should be a casual date. Coffee, lunch or a drink are great first meeting options. This also leaves the door open to stay longer if you both hit it off or leave quickly if need be.
Tip: Before you meet for the first time, think about topics that will be great conversation starters. The wonderful thing about your profile is that by now, you have discovered common interests. Think about some of the things you have in common and use them as a starting point.
*You are meeting a total stranger so meet in a public place. Never go anywhere that is too secluded. Let your friends know where you are going to be and have them call you in the middle of the date to see if you need an excuse to leave.
Tip: Smile, laugh and have fun. People want to be around other people that exhibit positive energy.
Tip: Be yourself. Don’t embellish on your accomplishments or say you like things just to be more attractive to the other person. If the relationship progresses past an initial meeting, those little white lies will come back to haunt you.
Tip: Remember you have options. That’s the beauty of online dating. You can date one man at a time or as many as you like until you find your Mr. Right!
Millions of people have found their true love online. Even if you don’t find “the one”, online dating can be a fun way to just flirt and get your mojo going. Try and keep an open mind. You just might make a new friend or two and have a variety of new experiences to add to your profile.
Renee Rayles is the author of The Super, Sexy, Single Mom on a Budget. She is an actress who has been featured in a Showtime movie as well as a variety of commercial and television work, a media personality who hosted a television show, and has been chosen by Jezebel Magazine as one of “The Ten Most Beautiful Atlantan’s” in 2008. Renee has also been an online dater.