Single Minded Moms: The Single Mom’s 10 Commandments, Part 2
By Alaina Sheer
Before you read this make sure you catch the first part of my single mom parenting tips called Single Mom Ten Commandments.
So… where were we?
6. Thou shalt not date jerks.
Ahhhh… those beautiful, heart-breakers we like to call bad boys. Unfortunately, as a single mother, jerks and bad boys aren’t an option. We may fall for them unknowingly but as soon as he shows his true colors ditch him fast. You can’t afford to waste a moment of your life or your child’s life on a man who isn’t willing to give you everything in return. Trust me on this one. They’re not worth it.
7. Thou shalt find other single parents.
This is a must.I have married friends and single friends – and they’re amazing – but when it comes to the day-to-day single mom struggles I am facing many of them just “don’t get it.” Not to be cliche, but the single moms and dads I’ve met and since formed strong friendships with keep me going in my darkest moments. There’s a solidarity in our little club and if I didn’t have them, I’m not quite sure where I’d be. If you’re having trouble finding other single parents in your area try starting a group on Craigslist.com or Meetup.com. If these fail, at the very least, join an online social network for single parents, iHeartSingleParents.com and Single Minded Women.
8. Thou shalt be friends with thy ex.
I know. This one is tough. But one day you and your ex made a commitment to each other and you created a life. For whatever reason, it didn’t work, but you must try your hardest to be on good terms with the father of your child, for their sake and yours. Take the higher ground – remove yourself from the situation emotionally – and keep your child’s well-being and mental health at the top of your priority list at all times.
9. Thou shalt listen to thy gut.
Sometimes my gut is muffled. It’s not always clear… but you know those whispers when you hear them, especially when it comes to dating. Listen to them. Your gut is one of the best barometers you have and as a single mom you can’t afford not to listen. But if you don’t and you screw up or make a bad choice – sleep with the wrong guy, pick the wrong doctor or the wrong school – don’t beat yourself up. Just learn from your mistakes and move on.
10. Thou shalt never lose hope. Enough said.
Alaina Sheer, aka Ms. Single Mama, left her husband when her son was just 4-months-old. When she got back into the dating game Alaina, who had once been a dating diva in her childless days, quickly discovered that dating as a single mom was unchartered territory. Unable to find a map of her own, she started writing her own on her blog at MsSingleMama.com. One year later the blog is one of the most popular single mom dating blogs out there because her candid, uncensored and highly intuitive advice speaks honestly to single moms at any stage in the dating game. Alaina’s son, Benjamin is now closing in on 3-years-old and she’s still very happily single.