The Best Valentine’s Tips for Singles!

By Melodie Schaefer, PhD

valentine's dayThis tends to be the time of year (and that special day of the year) when singles who are currently not in a relationship tend to shift about a bit while contemplating spending Valentine’s Day sans partenaire.

The symbol for Valentine’s Day is a heart, and you have one – yours!  So take (your) heart and jump into celebrating this day along with the other 85+ million single adults!*

So, what are you going to do to celebrate your heart?

First, take a minute or two to acknowledge that you are worth it, and shake off any negative thoughts that may get in your way of enjoying who you are.

Next, why not pursue your own passions and indulge yourself by taking yourself out on the town?  The list of great self-date ideas can be endless:

Schedule a massage;

Give yourself a piece of a wonderfully decadent chocolate truffle;

Buy yourself a bunch of fragrant and especially colorful flowers and festoon your home with the buds in a variety of vases;

Pack a beverage, a blanket and a camera and take off to a scenic or favorite outdoor spot.  Tap your creative center and take photos of whatever beckons the lens.

Kick back and relax as you sip some delicious tea or perfectly complex wine. Savor the moment.

But why only entertain alone?  Regardless of whether or not you are currently in a relationship, you can still choose to invite others to join you in a “heart-healthy” pursuit.

Why not hold a King or Queen of Hearts Party and invite friends and colleagues that are also celebrating the day single. They will most likely be happy to know they have an invitation to enjoy the day without the expectation of “needing to find a date”, or being the only one going stag.

Games or activities that are geared to promote social interaction or ice-breakers can help set the tone.  Hold a wine-tasting party and hold a vote for “best in show” bottle.   Set a theme for the party that hearkens to Valentine’s Day:  Costume party with theme of dressing as a tragic or comic romantic figure (ah, all the Romeos, Juliets, and Cupids).  Perhaps make it a getaway weekend.

Call a few like-minded friends and set a destination that will provide a variety of attractions or activities.  If you want to hang with friends but don’t want to put forth too much effort, tone it down a bit.  Why not a pot luck poker night, bunko party, board game festival or rental movie marathon?

The basic concept is that you are at the helm of the ship – where are you going to sail on February 14th?  You can stay docked, look for stormy weather and strive to sail into the middle of it, or you could look towards the sun, find a beautiful island and get out the bongo drums and start the limbo line.

Now, all that is left for you to do is to ask yourself the question and then cast your vote:  Will I be my Valentine?

*Statistics from the American Association for Single People

Dr. Melodie Schaefer is a Clinical Psychologist in Los Angeles, and is the Executive Director of The Chicago School of Professional Psychology Counseling Centers located in the Los Angeles, California.  To seek psychotherapy services at the Counseling Center, call 310-208-3120.

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