Duchess Digest: Single For Good?
By Jill Brown
There are times in every great single woman’s life where she asks (or *gasp* even considers) “Will I be single for good?” If you’ve wondered or thought that question yourself then not to worry! Yes, never fear – one fabulous lady is turning the fear of the unknown into an exploratory campaign of all things dating and all things good-will. Meet Bianca, a darling advocate for good deeds and great dates. Bianca is the heart and soul behind Single For Good – a blog devoted to the philosophy that “every bad date deserves a good deed.” Bianca is one of the amazing single women I’ve been so fortunate and blessed to meet through Social Media. She was gracious enough to answer some questions for all of us single minded women and shed some light on her dating philosophy, dating advice and more!
So without any further adieu from the Duchess, read on to hear about you too can be Single for Good like Bianca is teaching us all to be! J’adore!
How did ‘Single for Good’ come to be?
‘Single for Good’ started with a ‘eureka’ moment after a morning volunteering on Valentine’s Day 2010. Instead of being a complete anti-love zombie draped head to foot in black lycra (the sexiest of all the too tight fabrics) and sending out snarky text messages to fellow Single Awareness Day observers, my cousin and I volunteered for the MGR Foundation’s (g)love Program. We assembled and distributed care packages to Chicago-area homeless people…I got the warm fuzzies and in that moment, my love life basked in the shadows of the greater good.
Following the volunteer event, I decided that if I was going to be single, I might was well be a Single for Good, which I describe as an uninhibited, love-crazed, romantic, humanitarian. I give love, as I look for love, as I blog about love. I challenge myself to not dwell (too long) in the funk being single can bring but, instead, to delight in performing acts of compassion for life and Earth.
How long have you been ‘Single for Good’?
I’ve been blogging about turning bad dates into good deeds for about 6 months now and in that time I’ve volunteered for seven different organizations, dedicated 38 hours of service and have done everything from planting broccoli at a inner-city, roof-top garden to picking up litter at a local park. I’ve also formed Team Single for Good, encouraging group volunteerism.
What has been one of the most fun or outrageous experiences you’ve had in the dating/set-up arena?
I truly think people in relationships look at singles as if we are pets in dire need of adoption. Sure, they won’t come out and call us pound-puppies whose time is running out to our faces, but the way they push us to date/marry is synonymous to wanting to see a aging, three-legged Chihuahua go to a good home; only they want to see us paired off.
Case and point, a family friend sent me a text message saying that he had someone for me to meet. He knew absolutely nothing about the guy, only that he was single. Being the good sport that I am (curiosity did kill the cat right?), I agreed to meet this man. It was the WORST DATE EVER. The guy was a complete jerk whose views on women were beyond prehistoric, to say the least. After about 30 minutes (which was 29 minutes way over-due) I immediately sought the closest exit.
What is the best dating tip/advice you’d give other single women out there?
I want to stress that I’m not tackling a mind-bogglingly difficult task such as reviving disco music; I’m simply encouraging singles to look outside of themselves to the bigger picture. By channeling negative dating experiences (scientific name Horribus Datus) and directing that energy towards causes such as the environment, poverty, womens issues, etc…image how much good could be done. And the bonus round points of creating good dating karma couldn’t hurt one bit either!
And that’s dating according to the Duchess. Being Single for Good never sounded so great!
Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. Her upcoming workshop “Summer Loving: Lucky in Love in Six Weeks” starts July 25th – so join! She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves for dating success. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/