Duchess Digest: Don’t Let Online Dating Spook You!
By Jill Brown and guest columnist Julie Spira
As a dating and relationship coach, love is my business. When I think of one of the top questions my clients ask me it’s always, “How do I meet quality men?” One of my top suggestions is to try something new, which for many of my clients, means giving online dating a try. Gasp! Shock! The horror?! “Hardly,” I say! And with Halloween right around the corner and the holidays that are soon so follow (no body wants to be all alone on Christmas) now is the PERFECT time to give online dating a try. But don’t take my word for it! Even coaches need a coach and ladies, Julie Spira is leading the way on online dating tips for women. She is a Cyber-Dating Expert and the author of “The Perils of Cyber Dating.” Who better to take the mystery and spookiness out of trying the world of love online?
So without further adieu, here is what Cyber Dating Expert and Author Julie Spira has to say:
There’s never a more fun and flirty time to enjoy online dating than during the month of October. Halloween is around the corner and masses of singles are joining online dating sites to couple up for the holidays. So how can you create an online dating presence to take advantage of this exciting month?
First of all, online dating is not just about signing up, creating a profile and uploading a photo. There’s truly an art to creating an irresistible online dating profile. Are you ready to get started?
1. Create a catchy screen name. Men are sorting through hundreds, if not thousands of profiles during their search. How can you make yours stand out? I suggest finding something you are passionate about. Are you an artist? Add that to your screen name. Write a book lately? Let it show. Stay away from the names that are automatically assigned, as you won’t be remembered if you are just another number.
2. Post great photos. You’d be surprised how many people post blurry photos, group shots and that little devil of an arm hanging over your shoulder. If you can’t get to a local photographer, have a friend take 50 photos of you with their digital camera. Look at the photos together and get an objective eye in selecting the top 3-5 shots. I always recommend a close up shot where you are smiling and looking confident. Don’t forget the full-length body shot, as men will automatically assume you’re hiding your weight if you don’t reveal your overall figure.
3. Leave the baggage behind. While it’s natural to want to know everything about someone, men truly don’t want to hear the details about previous relationships, spousal support or financial woes. If the conversation goes in that direction, change the subject to a lighter topic. Ask him what his favorite travel spot is or favorite band is.
4. Do your homework. We all know that online dating is a numbers game. But if you are confused on your date and think your meeting Peter instead of Paul, or the doctor instead of the lawyer, you’ll start off on an uncomfortable note. Make sure you look at your date’s profile again before you head out for that first date. It’s not different than being prepared for an interview for your dream job.
5. Better safe than sorry. You don’t’ know who is hiding behind the keyboard, so I always suggest that you meet in a public place and let a friend know where you are going. Never give out your home phone number or address before a first date. If you are uncomfortable for any reason, just leave. A woman’s intuition is very powerful. You must trust your instincts.
Most importantly, enjoy the experience. You never know who you’ll meet. Perhaps you’ll make a new friend, expand your business and social network, and if you get lucky, you just might meet your next new guy.
So there you have it! Give online dating a try and don’t be spooked by some fun new adventures in dating. That’s common sense and screaming good move according to the Duchess (with many, many thanks to Julie for this great column of advice!)
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Julie Spira is a bestselling author, dating and relationship coach, and a worldwide expert in online dating. Her dating advice has appeared in and on ABC News, CBS News, CNET, FOX, E! Entertainment, The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Men’s Health, WIRED, and Woman’s Day. She created her first online dating profile in 1994 and now helps singles on the dating scene by irresistible online dating profiles for single women and men. Visit her at CyberDatingExpert.com for dating advice and to share your online dating stories.
Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves for dating success. To check out the NEW DATE LIKE A DUCHESS e-course, visit www.TheDuchessGuide.com/datingsuccess NOW. In less then 5 minutes and for less then $40 you could be enjoying dating success!
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