Duchess Digest: The Fast Track to Love

By Jill Brown

The most common questions women ask me in my coaching practice are about how they can date “right,” enjoy a healthy relationship and/or meet a great guy. The answer  to all of these questions are simple but because of that, requires a little effort in it’s simplicity. And because I am a believer in love and a believer that every woman out there deserves the man of her dreams, I want to share with you an easy 3-step process for putting yourself on the fast track for love.

It’s easy, you can do it and you can start NOW.

Step One: Believe.

There is no side-stepping this one. If you have a bad attitude and you’re complaining all the time about your sad dating past and all the bad guys you always meet – then that’s the story you’re going to keep creating and living out in your life. You have to stop feeding your fears and your failures and start flaming the fire of faith that you too, yes YOU, deserve and will find that perfect partner. If you don’t start doing this, if you don’t start believing and talking about great beliefs and expectations for luck and success, you will miss every opportunity and relationship that every crosses your path. This is the founding corner stone to getting on the fast track to your dream man. Don’t contradict your desire for the kind of relationship you’ve always dreamed about with you hemming and hawing about how it hasn’t happened yet, and how you’re going to be single forever and how wah,wah, wah you’ve been hurt. We all have. Time to get over it. Stop the drama, stop the insanity and start talking about and seeing all the great relationships and people all around that you’re missing with a bad ‘tude.

Step Two: Quit Suffering

Let me tell you a simple equation that is the solution to end all suffering in your life. It’s the equation I share in my about to be released e-book, The Duchess Guide to Finding Your Bitch Niche. Suffering = Pain x Resistance. BAM! How about that. Pain is an inevitable part of life because lets face it, that’s how you learn. Touch the stove and burn yourself – OW! That sucked. Didn’t study for exams and failed your class – well I guess you just learned you might need to crack a book because you aren’t as smart as you thought. You get the point. We learn from pain. We learn how to navigate life. We learn to make choices and trust ourselves. We learn self-reliance and self-confidence and choose our paths from the pain we experience and learn from in our lives. That’s just how most of us bump through this life. But YOU have the choice to suffer and you do so when you push against that pain or the thing causing it and draw you’re life out into suffering. Bad relationship you keep going back to? Instead of facing the pain of loss, the end of a love affair and the growing pains of being alone, you put yourself through suffering by resisting the pain and thus drawing out the inevitable. So stop it! Feel the pain, work through it and eliminate suffering.

Step Three: Have Fun and Invest in YOU!

If you aren’t having fun on your own, how is anyone else going to enjoy your company? Make sure you’re investing in your own good time, your hobbies, your interests and your development. This is my best piece of dating advice for meeting someone great. When you’re having a great time, enjoying life and being fun – you’ll attract like minded fun and interesting people to you wherever you go. There’s nothing more repulsive then a bad attitude or a clingy co-dependent outlook on life. Work on yourself, have fun and enjoy life – there is no do-over here ladies. Don’t wait for Mr. Right to start having fun – because your life is happening right now. And if you aren’t making the most of it your missing it. Carpe diem!

And that’s getting on the dating fast track according to the Duchess.

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves for dating success.  For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/

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