Duchess Digest: Five Friends You Need!

By -Jill Brown

SATC2We all know the saying, “Friends are the family you get to choose.” And we all know friends in our life that are so amazing we love them like our family. I have always known friendships were important in my life, but I have especially realized the impact and importance of great friends living in Los Angeles.

So many people are here pursuing their dreams, far from family and risking it all for a shot at being great. Yours truly is among them. Friends would be important for any person when they’re living high risk – high gain; but they seem even more priceless in this city where so many people don’t have their traditional family support structure to rely on.

Based on my experience here in the city with friendships, here is my suggested must-have list of friends to add to your entourage. It doesn’t have to be location specific – I think these kinds of friends make the world go round no matter where you are in the world!

1) Your B.F.F.

This girlfriend is above and beyond all the others. She’s your ‘bestie’ (or whatever the kids are calling it these days). She’s the one you can literally call any time day or night with a dating emergency, the one you veg out in your sweats with on movie night and get dolled up with on girl’s night out. She’s your counselor and your hers. She’s your confident and you better be hers! She’s your one, your all, your everything! She’s the Naomi Watts to your Nicole Kidman, the bread to your butter, the yin to your yang. Your B.F.F. knows more about you than your mom, your boyfriend and has the accumulated knowledge of all your other friendships combined. Treat her right – BFF’s are worth their weight in gold!

2) The ‘Samantha’

This is the girlfriend who is ridiculously sexy, funny, outgoing and confident. We all need a Samantha friend. Everyone loves Carrie from Sex & the City (me included!) but I think Samantha often gets overlooked. While her sexual appetite and variety is beyond what I would personally ever want, her attitude and honesty are what I admire. Watch past episodes – Samantha is ALWAYS in a good mood, always working hard, always confident and happy. We all have a girlfriend like this (or you should!). She’s optimistic, she’s girl power, she’s enthusiasm, and her can-do attitude is contagious! Get a Samantha friend in your life and be sure you return the good attitude so she wants you around too!

3) The Pollyanna

This is the goodie-two-shoes friend. The ‘glad game’ friend. The Ned Flanders of girlfriends. She’s sometimes sickeningly sweet, kind and charitable; but that’s a good thing sometimes. It’s good to have a girlfriend you can count on to coo over you, to spoil you, to give you the glass is half-full perspective. She may sounds a little like the Samantha friend of before but she’s much more straight laced and Charlotte. It’s good to have a girlfriend who is reliable, traditional, has great values and can help steer you back onto course if you ever lose your way.

4) The G.B.F. (aka Gay Boyfriend, Gay Best Friend)

Yes, I am advocating the stereotypical gay best friend. I’m sorry, but mine is the love of my life and honestly if he weren’t gay I’d be married to him right now. He’s a catch and a half! He’s gorgeous, he’s fun, he has better fashion than I do (but is happy to help me out), he knows all the best places to eat, he’s funny and charming, he’s spontaneous, he’s basically perfect and I love him. Make sure you make your GBF feel special too. Sometimes I get so caught up in the pampering, fun and spoiling that my GBF lavishes on me that I forget to be his amazing SBF (straight best friend). People tend to share what they love to receive, so make sure if you’re being treated right you remember to return the favor.

5) The Couple

I know this is technically two people – but I’m referring to the girlfriend that is in the couple. Sometimes as a single woman I find couples to be obnoxious, rude, self-indulgent and just plain sickening (think Seinfeld, “No – YOU’RE the schmoopy!”). Like all the friendships listed above, you have to find the right fit of the types of friends above to make sure this is working for you. But I have a friend, who is for all intents and purposed the couple and I love her. She’s cute, she’s fun (they both are) and I never feel like a third wheel. Sometimes I think it’s fun to be around a couple too because if you are what you hang around; who knows maybe someday I will make the transition from the Pollyanna friend to the Couple friend. He has great single friends you may be able to meet, she has hot brothers; you never know what great opportunities might come out of the ‘couple’ friend!

-Jill Brown


Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/

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