Duchess Digest: Keep it Classy and Sassy!
By Jill Brown
It’s no mystery that great dates lead to great mates. It’s only natural that going on quality dates with interested and available men will lead to a much better shot at love than their bad boy alternatives. So with that well known semi-mystery solved I’m sure you’re asking yourself the next logical question in this sequence of thought . . . so how do I start heading out on great dates?
Well I’m so glad you asked! I’ve got my own opinions but this week I thought, wouldn’t it be nice if we got the male Point of View on this topic? After all, who better than a great guy to tell us what the great guys are looking for and give us his best dating tips on how to turn our perhaps lackluster love life into a more rewarding experience with loads of great dates (and eventually one very lucky mate)!
So I’ve turned to Brad Berkowitz, author of The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood, to shed some light on the subject of basic do’s and don’ts for the single ladies out there. Wouldn’t you know it? Brad explains that the single biggest mistake people make is a rapid pace. Yes, like the old saying goes – the flame that burns too fast goes out. Brad says, “A new relationship needs to grow.”
What are some ways you can avoid this common pitfall? Brad offers some helpful great dating tips:
- Couples should limit themselves to getting together one or two times a week for the first two or three weeks.
- The dates should be casual and fun.
- Also, you should try not to pepper each other with too many questions because that can turn a date into an interview.
- Once dating, A woman should let the guy know she is interested, but let him pursue her. Guys tend to get lazy and need to know that they have to plan dates, not just expect a girl to be waiting for him. Many men tend to wait until Thursday or Friday to ask a girl out for Saturday night. This is bad form and shows no interest. When this happens (please note that Mr. Berkowitz used the word ‘when’ and not ‘of’), a woman should say, “I am glad to hear from you and would love to see you, but I have plans. I wish you would have called me earlier in the week.” This way, she shows interest, but lets the guy know that she will not be waiting around all week for him to call.
- Don’t hop into bed too soon! That’s right – keep things classy but sassy to start off slow.
Yes, sorry ladies – the always given and rarely adhered to (then of course later regretted) final tip Mr. Berkowitz shares is that People starting relationships should not jump into bed too quickly either. You should get to know each other. Because, as he honestly shares, “Should they sleep with each other too soon and the relationship subsequently ends, both parties will regret the encounter. Girls need to remember that guys find it much easier to sleep with a woman before he is emotionally attached to her. He can separate sex from love much easier. In addition, should the couple break up, he can move on emotionally much faster than she can.”
There you have it ladies! A few more great dating tips to get you out on the road to relationship success. And to check out more insights into the minds of men, be sure to pick up a copy on Brad’s new book, The 21st Century Guide to Bachelorhood, available now on Amazon (CLICK HERE).
Keep it classy and sassy! That’s dating according to Brad and the Duchess.
Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves for dating success. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/
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