Duchess Digest: What a Mad Man’s Woman Wants

By Jill Brown

I recently read an article in Esquire interviewing Mad Men actress Christina Hendricks about what men should know from a woman’s point of view. Have you read this article? Being a raving fan of Mad Men, I was instantly interested in what Christina would have to say; however I was happily intrigued by her insights into the female mind. Sure I have a female mind of my own, but it was amazing to me how eloquently she described ideas and concepts I have always felt but inarticulately expressed.

For example, the very first point of her fifteen ‘Things Men Should Know About Women’ list was that we as women love our man’s body when we love our man. Amen. Don’t you just love the handsome dark hair of your boyfriend or the sexy, perfect beard of your husband? When you really love someone it’s the small mole on their upper left shoulder or their perfect for-you height or even maybe their hint of a belly that you fall madly, passionately head over heels about. And speaking of head over heels, in the same paragraph Christina explains how powerfully enticing the scent of the man we love is to us. Have you found this to be true? I for one can’t get enough of the smell of the man I love. One of the greatest things to me has always been the lingering smell of your man on a t-shirt you borrow to sleep in or your pillow the night after he stays over. Essence of man; intoxicating!

Some of her other things to know were that we as women love it when a man acts like a gentlemen (still in this day and age, nay, especially in this day and age!). When we go through all the effort of looking great for a nice date, flowers and opening our car door is still a timeless, classy and appreciated way to go! I couldn’t agree with Ms. Hendricks more! She also admonishes men to pay attention to the little things we say, and that those experiences and gifts often mean the most. Christina explained to her interviewer she had a fascination with the circus when she met her now husband. Several months later he turned up with a black and white photography anthology of circus folk. The fact that he listened to her and quietly found something that was based on an expressed interest meant the world to her. Paying attention and being thoughtful and observant are always great qualities in a partnership.

Another great tip for our male counterparts is the appeal of an expanded vocabulary.  ‘Beautiful’ is great – but sometimes it gets worn out. I once had a random stranger as the table next to us, lean over to my date at dinner in Manhattan and quietly say, ‘The smile that launched a thousand ships, huh?’ as he glanced across the table at me and smiled. It was the compliment of my life and years later I still remember that older gentlemen’s classy, literary and eloquent compliment more than anything else on that trip. It’s a hell of a lot more amazing than beautiful – so for our male friends, lets keep the vocabulary ever expanding. Other favorites of mine have included my favorite compliments of ‘stunning’ and just simply, ‘God damn.’ Doesn’t sound like a compliment maybe but when the right man says it and takes in a little gasp of air, it’s enough to make you melt. Believe me.

Finally perhaps her greatest tip, ‘NO Man should be on Facebook.’ She got a standing ovation from me on that one.

So what do you think? What would be the fifteen things you would put on your list of ‘Must Knows’ for the men in your life (or the potential men coming into it?). Would your list include compliments and smells or would you change some of Christina Hendricks’ ‘Must Haves’ and Can’t Stands.’ Getting clear on what you need the men in your life to know will help you to get what you need, communicate and share and build a truly meaningful partnership – whether you’re just starting out with your beau or are looking to re-spark the flame in your long term commitment.

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/

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