Duchess Digest: The Good, The Bad and The Solution

By Jill Brown

Duchess Digest: The Good, The Bad and The SolutionIn life there is the good, the bad and the solution? There comes a point in our life where more simply becomes more. In my economics classes of college, I believe this was referred to as the point of diminishing return.

It’s the point at which that last spoonful of Ben and Jerry’s on the coach went from stress-relief bliss to tummy ache and guilt. It’s that moment when you realize all your compromising has compromised you. It’s basically the tipping point between when too much of a good thing becomes bad.

I have learned that how you do one thing tends to be how you do everything. So often if one area of your life gets out of whack, it has ramifications in other seemingly unintended ways. For instance, ever notice how eating poorly and stopping exercise seem to happen simultaneously? Or emotional eating tends to coincide with a bunch of unnecessary do-dad charges on the credit card? Or a drastic haircut or styling changes seems to coincide with a break-up?

I think good and bad travel in pairs. That’s why it’s imperative to keep up your good habits and flex your will-power muscles when times are tough to get rid of bad habits. Maybe you can’t control the outcome of your job-search or your break-up, but you can control your discipline and take care of yourself.

Here are some Good Company replacements for your Bad Company habits that might help turn things around if times are challenging for you right now (or in the future).

  • PROBLEM: Junk Food & His Twin, Lethargy
  • Solution: You can grab this bull by the horns or the tail! I often think it’s better to choose one or the other and let that guide you to what your body wants. When you listen to your body – it’s an amazing compass. So instead of going on a diet and starting an exercise routine at the same time – I like to do one or the other, because the side-effect for me is always the two moving in tandem. For me, I can’t go to an hour of crazy intense dance class and come home and eat pizza. It just feels gross. Likewise I can’t eat cheese puffs and then go for a run. I find if I can have the self-control to implement one tactic, the other seems to fall in line.
  • PROBLEM: Unfulfilling Job & Her Twin, Debt
  • Solution: Ever notice how you can’t stop complaining about your job, but seem to spend more and get deeper into debt. Life is meant to be lived and it takes some funds to get out there and live sometimes, but this self-defeating cycle can be drastically turned around with some small actions and awareness. First step: stop complaining about your job. Period. If you have a job, that’s pretty awesome in and of itself in today’s unstable economy. And if you feel unfulfilled, then it’s up to you to find ways to combat that. Are you thinking about ways you can enhance your skills and value to your company by taking on more projects? Try being the person who shows up to the office full of ideas instead of impossibilities. Now, once you turn your work attitude around you can take note of the spending. The less you spend, the less you need that job if it really isn’t getting better for you. Have the discipline to set money aside and know that a penny saved is a penny you can rely on down the line if you want to move on to a new career, city or option. Money is freedom and freedom is choices. Be smart with your money and give yourself every opportunity and choice you can.
  • PROBLEM: Stress & its Twin, Fighting
  • Solution: I am not a person who handles stress terribly well. I can usually tell when I’m stressed because I will have a lot of disharmony in my home life. I don’t know why we tend to take our stress out on the ones closest to us, but if you find that you’re horribly annoyed by everything your spouse, children, roommate, boyfriend or family is doing – there’s a good chance it’s not them, but you. Hate to say it but fighting starts with us usually and often we seek out the flaws and problems in others closest to us when something isn’t right within ourselves. Sure, there are times when a fight is just a fight – but more often then not it stems from stress and other unhappiness that we are harboring inside. The first solution to this is to recognize when you’re stressed. You’ll know more now when you see some of the signs above showing up in your life. The next step is to take your own time out. Good self-care can often alleviate stress and the fights. If you are taking the time to exercise, meditate, eat healthy and practice other smart self-care options you’ll be much better prepared to see and feel the good in others.

There you have it! Good and bad travel in pairs – so when you see the signs of negative behaviors popping up in your life, take a moment to check what is really going on and use these simple solutions to combat them.

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves.  Her ALL NEW Home Study Course SIX WEEKS TO DATING SUCCESS is six weeks of coaching at your own pace to improve all your relationships, especially dating and is available now. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: http://theduchessguide.com/

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