Duchess Digest: Three’s Company!

By Jill Brown

threescompanyIn these economically uncertain times everyone is watching their bottom line a little closer and this little Duchess is no exception! When I returned to my beloved Los Angeles last fall, I knew living my dream was going to cost me. Not just in the metaphorical sense but in the cold hard cash sense as well! Apparently you can buy happiness and it costs a pretty penny here in L.A.

So when my prospective roommate and I started shopping for condos I was keeping a close eye on the price tag. As the browsing wore on and each viewing of a potential flop house looked more discouraging than the last, I began to grow discouraged. Playing out in parallel time with our search was the increasing seriousness of her relationship with her boyfriend. I worried a little that I was going to be out a roommate soon as the housing quest wore on with no fruits for our labors and the boyfriend started staying over more and more. So I was not totally caught off guard when my roommate approached me a month into our search, with mere weeks before our move-out date, still homeless, to say she and her boyfriend were thinking of moving in together. Doh! However, what I didn’t expect is that they were hoping I would want to join them in the search!

Ménage a trois?!


I had never considered a threesome! Economically it sounded promising, but what would saving a few dollars each month mean if the living situation was deplorable? He was practically already living at our current place, so I already knew he was clean, working and a funny guy. I actually really liked him. In fact I was (and still am) in the rare situation of genuinely liking all of my closest girlfriend’s boyfriends. The only real consideration then was me. I had been single for so long I wasn’t sure that I could hack living with a couple. On the one hand I thought it might be a really great situation. I mean, if you are what you eat, then maybe you are who you live with; and maybe living with a couple would make me more likely to attract a great man looking to couple up. On the other hand, maybe it would be like living with the constant reminder of just how single I was, like a daily slap of reality that I had been incredibly in love with a great man too, but unlike literally every single one of my girlfriends, I was still single. Unlovable and alone forever? Two’s company but three’s a crowd?

I am very happy to say that I took the optimistic route (and the financially rewarding one) and opted in for my own domestic threesome. I try to assume and look for the best in everything and when it comes to my ménage living situation – nothing could have been more pleasantly amazing. I love my roommate couple. She cooks dinner for the three of us (lucky me!), he cleans and is handy around the house (lucky, lucky me) and they both help with my dog (it takes a village to raise a Labrador!). The situation couldn’t be more fun and ideal.

The added bonus? I hear my friend laughing constantly with her beau. And unlike my worst fears that it would remind me of what I had lost, it makes me really happy. Hearing her laugh all around the house at all hours of the day reminds me that it’s just a matter of time before my very own shmoopy arrives. Instead of love, laughter and commitment being a far distant dream, it’s a daily reality I live with and appreciate; even if technically it’s not my own (yet!).

Who says a threesome can’t work?!

-Jill Brown

Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based life coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous and unique selves. She is an avid outdoor enthusiast, traveler and health nut. When she isn’t writing or working on Duchess, Jill loves spending all her free time with her Labrador – Betty. For more on The Duchess Guide or Jill visit: www.theduchessequation.com


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