Duchess Digest: Would Jane Austen Go After The One That Got Away?
By Jill Brown
Ever wonder what the love guru and author Jane Austen would do in modern day dating dilemmas the single ladies today have to face? Ever ask yourself “Would Jane Austen be Facebook friends with her beau?” or “Would Jane Austen choose career over love?” Well wonder no more. This week is the second installment of The Duchess Guide presents: What Would Jane Austen Do? Each day I’m sharing a question from readers and answering it based on the original positive thinking dating coach, Jane Austen. This is the second Duchess Digest column devoted solely to answering “What Would Jane Austen Do?”
And this week you asked, “I’ve been wondering about a man from my past and thinking that perhaps I should reach out to him again. I think he might have been the one that got away. So I want to know, would Jane Austen have gone after the one who got away?”
Be sure to view this week’s Single Minded Women exclusive video and our second question in the series, and be sure to check out www.theduchessguide.com for more daily videos further supporting answers about what Jane Austen would do in your specific dating situation.
“Would Jane Austen go after the one who got away?”
The answer to today’s What Would Jane Austen Do question, “Would Jane Austen go after the one who got away” is yes, she would! The one that got away isn’t a new concept and Jane Austen herself dealt with this topic. Take her lead character, Anne Elliot from her novel Persuasion. Anne is proposed to by the young Naval man Mr. Wentworth seven years before the book plot begins and we learn that Anne, despite being in love with Wentworth, is persuaded to refuse his offer of marriage because he is poor. Now we read that seven years into the future, Anne is 27 (which is tragically “spinster” for Austen’s day and time), still single and recently reintroduced to Wentworth. Only now he is Captain Wentworth, a wealthy and successful naval officer after wartime victories. Jane Austen takes us through the process of their reconnecting and journey as they are reunited and luckily for both parties, their love affair works out and they are married.
While most of you can’t write your story with a happily ever after “seven years later” ending with your “one that got away,” what you can do is try. If there is a person from your past with whom you truly feel you let get away, why not reach out to them and try again. You may have to accept that the Captain Wentworth of your life story is married, in a relationship, unwilling to take a chance on you again or otherwise unavailable, but you’re certainly no worse off for trying. After all, if this person was so important to you that you’re still thinking about them then what’s the worst that can happen? The worst is that they say no or aren’t’ available and you are no worse off then you are now without them. In fact you may be better off knowing that’s a quandary and plot line that will need to end now in your life and you may get some resolution knowing it’s not to be. It may free you up to pursue a new storyline. Perhaps your life’s love story is more Mr. Darcy or Mr. Knightly then Captain Wentworth.
Whatever the case may be for you, I believe Jane Austen would try to reach out to the one that got away and I think it may be worth you trying as well. If you need more help or some coaching on how to maximize your dating success, be sure to check out my new course at www.theduchessguide.com/datingsuccess.
Jill Brown is a Los Angeles, California-based coach and writer. She earned her Bachelors in Humanities and Sociology from USU and is a member of the National Association for Conflict Resolution and the Ladies Who Launch Network. She is the founder of “The Duchess Guide” a website dedicated to helping women become their most fabulous selves for dating success. To check out the NEW DATE LIKE A DUCHESS e-course, visit www.TheDuchessGuide.com/datingsuccess NOW. In less then 5 minutes and for less then $40 you could be enjoying dating success!