Finding Mr. Right: When Rebounding Is All Wrong

By Josie Brown

britkSay it ain’t so, Brit.

Now that she’s rediscovered her professional mojo, STAR magazine claims Britney Spears has fallen back into heat over her ex-husband, Kevin Federline.

According to the magazine’s sources, the two have been doing some hot and horny hook-ups throughout Britney’s CIRCUS tour.

Ouch. Here comes another train wreck.

Rebounding to an ex-boyfriend says a lot about a woman. That can be good or bad–depending upon the reasons for the original break-up.

If, for example, the guy (a) played around on you when you were together, (b) neglected you and your children (c) used you as his meal ticket, then the smartest thing you ever did was to find the exit door.

And the stupidest thing you can do is allow him back into your life, now or ever.

(Brit: does any of this sound familiar? I’m not being too subtle here…)

Need a few other reasons to steer clear?

Okay, here are 5 other reasons you’d be a fool to take him back:

1. He spends more time with his guy pals than with you.

2. He feels he was forced into the commitment–and shows it with blame games and by going A.W.O.L.

3. He’d rather work long hours than be home with you.

4. He admits it: he’ll always be more loyal to another woman – be that an ex, an old flame, or his mom.

5. He shows no interest at all in sex with you. (Well, at least Britney can cross this item off her list!)

And yet, you’re willing to turn the other cheek, to let bygones be bygones?

Silly, silly girl.

Based on the criteria above, you’ve got to face up to at this very important issue:

For whatever reason, you don’t feel worthy of a loving, committed relationship.

Is there a right reason to rebound? Yes. Here’s when you should run back into his arms:

1. He is the right man, and this is the right time to be with him. In relationships especially, timing is everything. If fate dictates that you are both available, attracted to each other, and ready to take your relationship to the next level, it’s certainly worth giving the relationship another chance.

2. You’ve come to your senses. He treated you well when you were together-and you didn’t appreciate it at the time. Ready to settle down? Start by looking him up. In his mind, you may have been “the one that got away.”

3. He’s finally grown into the man you knew he could be. Again, timing if everything. If new life experiences have given him the depth of maturity that make him a better person, reward him with your friendship and your love.

Remember, relationships must continually evolve in order to survive–and to succeed.

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Josie Brown, SingleMindedWomen.com’s Relationships Channel Editor, is the author of two novels: IMPOSSIBLY TONGUE-TIED, and TRUE HOLLYWOOD LIES. Her next book, written with her husband, Martin, is the perfect self-help manual for your BFF (…okay, and for you, too). It’s THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO FINDING MR. RIGHT [September 2009]


OTHER SMW RELATIONSHIPS ARTICLES

15 Very Broad Hints that You’re Dating a Man Ho

Finding Mr. Right: His Bromance vs. Your Romance

Should You Rebound to Your Ex? When the Answer is Yes–and When It’s No

Is Your Relationship Stressed Out? 5 Tips on Chilling Out–with Him

THE BACHELOR’s Prince Charming Falls Off His Horse