Too Tired for Sex? Stay in Bed…Together

By Josie Brown

Where’s the passion, you ask? Well, you won’t find it through your remote control. Or for that matter, loafing around in your old chenille bathrobe.

A lot of  comfortable habits we take for granted can be passion killers. Here are six that you should nix from your boudoir immediately:

1. Get your TV out of the bedroom. A recent study in Italy found that couples who have a television in the bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t.

It’s not just the boob tube that sinks your sex life, but what’s on it, too. For example,violent films were passion killers for half of all couples tested. Reality shows dampened passion for a third of all couples. Bottom line: keep the TV in any room but the bedroom.

2. Make sure your bedtimes coincide. Granted, this isn’t always possible, but it is worth noting that slipping between the sheets at the same time greatly increases your chances for intimacy —  and is far more likely to lead to spontaneous sex.

3. Be prepared. A drawer full of sex toys would help tremendously, as would some wild condoms (flavored, ribbed, colored), sex gels…Oh yeah, and some role-playing costumes.  Don’t worry if you can’t squeeze into your old cheerleading outfit. It’s doubtful he still fits into his football pants, right? Your old pom-poms will do nicely…as long as you aren’t wearing anything else.

4. Make the kids sleep in their own room. It might be fun to snuggle with the little ones on rare occasions, but try not to make it a habit. After all, when you go to bed with your partner, it’s your time to be lovers first, parents later.

To do this: don’t have them in your bed in the first place. The more times you allow it, the harder it will be to break them of this habit.

5. Take a bath–preferably together. Doing so will relax you, and put you both in the mood. Remember: cleanliness is next to sexiness. A sensual fragrance is also a turn-on, so spritz on a little perfume, or light a candle.

6.  Dress for sex. That would mean a negligee–or nothing at all. Sorry, but he won’t be turned on if you show up in your flannel PJs, or his old tee-shirt. Being sexy starts with looking sexy.



Josie Brown is’s  Relationships channel editor.

She is also co-author, along with her husband, Martin Brown, of THE COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO FINDING MR. RIGHT, the perfect self-help manual for your BFF (…okay, and for you, too), in bookstores now.

Josie novel, SECRET LIVES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES, is in bookstores now