I Want What She’s Got! Creating an Outrageous Life
By Bette James Laughrun & Kathie Nelson
One of the best things about this time of year is the clean slate feeling we get when the New Year rolls around. This “fresh start” energy makes excellent fuel and motivation to get on with the business of defining what’s next. But it’s not resolutions or updated goals I am referring to but rather a new way of thinking about designing our Outrageous Life. If you want to have something different that what you’ve had in the past, you have to do something different.
About 10 years ago I found myself in a downward spiral. I was in my mid-60’s thinking I was just getting toward the end of my life. Instead of focusing on fresh starts, my year-end planning focused on taking care of my estate to make it easy on my kids in case anything happened to me. Everything was weighed in the balance of how long I thought I’d live. I even turned down some dental work because I didn’t think I’d live long enough to reap the benefits of the investment. (It seems so comical now!)
It was a simple question that set me on the path to breakthrough. “What do you want to be when you grow up?” What a silly question to ask a woman in her 60’s! That question woke me up to what I’d settled for and propelled me to ask more questions that literally saved my life and set me on the path to my own Outrageous Life.
We all want our lives to be more – we’re wired that way. Rather than let others define what your life should look like, make this your year to ask yourself the following:
What do I really want to be when I grow up? What can I do to move closer to that goal?
This question revealed the short sightedness of my own vision and the flaw in my thinking that I was destined to live to about the same ages of my parents. Re-engaging with my purpose to leave a legacy inspired me to stop planning for my death and plan instead for my life.
What are my strengths and talents? What needs to change so I can express them more in my life?
As I took stock of my life I realized I had a lot to give. So do you! Looking around my community, my family, and the world gave me outlets to do things I do best and contribute in significant ways.
What relationships support and encourage me? How can I add more of those?
Relationships are critical. Emotional energy is contagious. I took steps to clean up and invest in those relationships close to me which paid off exponentially. Relationship housekeeping is one of the practices I choose to have in my routine to keep me at peak energy.
How do I care for myself so I have the energy and ability to pursue what is most important?
What do I need to eliminate that drains my energy? What can I add to my self-care regimen that boosts my ability to function?
It is time to take care of you! You can start small – change one bad habit to a good one. I learned that my outlook, my vision for the future, and my attitude were all influenced by my health.
Knowing that soul care is an important part of living the Outrageous Life, how do I feed my spirit? What are my core values? How do they guide me?
You were created for something more than mediocrity. When you value yourself and you believe you are valued, you will see the world with fresh eyes.
What’s in store for the rest of your life?
“If you can ‘see’ it you can have it!” That first question “What do you want to be when you grow up” set my imagination on fire. I began to imagine myself experiencing travel to amazing locations, spending incredible time with my family, writing a book and ultimately living a life of purpose.
Make this the year you put your dreamer to work and have some fun imagining what defines your Outrageous Life!
Ten years ago, at the age of 62, author Bette Laughrun believed that she was at the end of her life, even though she was perfectly healthy. Drawing from her subsequent experience and personal transformation, Bette and her daughter, Kathie Nelson,wrote I Want What She’s Got!, a great motivational read for anyone in “midlife” who is facing a transition period in their lives and for those seeking personal reinvention.