Relationship Stressed Out? 5 Tips on Chilling Out—with Him

By Josie Brown

Relationships and StressWomen are feeling stress from their jobs and the economy, and that stress is affecting their relationships. It’s hard to be happy when you—or your significant other—is worried about a layoff, of whether you can afford to make your house payment.

But in fact, that are lots of things you can do to de-stress the situation.

1. First and foremost, talk things out.
If you can tell that something is bothering him, smile at him. Pat him on the arm. And say, “hey, I’m here if and when you want to talk.” Guys aren’t always great communicators, but he’ll get the message by that.

2. A second thing to remember: Don’t nag. And certainly don’t freak out.
He takes his cue from you. Why? Because he wants to be your knight in shining armor. If you’re stressed, he’s anxious, too. If you share your fears and feelings with him, calmly, he’ll answer you calmly, and you can mutually devise a game plan.

3. That game plan should work for you both.
If one of you spends more, talk honestly and openly about your fears in this regard. If it’s you, allow him to speak his mind about it. If it’s him, don’t accuse, just express your concerns. If you want to really make that point, do it with pencil and paper, in dollars and sense.

4. Fourth, do things together that take the stress off.
Go to a cheap afternoon movie. Take a bubble bath together. Shampoo each other’s hair. Take a walk and watch a sunset. That’s one way to remember that tomorrow is another day–and certainly a better one.

5. And finally, never let anything get in the way of the passion you feel for each other.
Anything that happens, financially, is all in the short term. You can’t allow the stress to break up your relationship. In the long run, you’ll find out more about each other in times of trouble than any other time in your relationship. Hopefully you’ll sell through it intact, and together.

Josie Brown, SMW’s relationship editor, is the author of two snarky Hollywood novels: Impossibly Tongue-Tied, and True Hollywood Lies. Along with her husband, Martin, she is the author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Finding Mr. Right.

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