John Gray Q&A: “Two Guys to Choose From”

By John Gray

courtingDear John, After three years of single life after divorce, I have found myself in two relationships: one is with a man with whom I have a good time but there is no sex. The other is with a guy that all we ever do is have sex. How do I get either of them to have a complete relationship with me? – Nannette in Tallahassee, FL

Dear Nannette, the easy answer:

Find a third man.

Well, not really. But yes, you’ve got the right idea: a lasting loving relationship is about good companionship and good sex. The good news is that you enjoy both.

The bad news is you have what you want, in two separate places. As you’ve already seen, that doesn’t work.

So here is your new mission: assess what it is that must happen to create Mr. Right in either of these two guys. Then, let you feelings be known that this is what you want.

The guy that also wants this of you will be the one to stick it out during the process of elimination. If, for whatever reason, neither guy works out, then it’s time to search for that third man. Don’t be afraid to re-enter the dating world.  Think of it as a treasure hunt, and eventually you will strike gold. Good luck

John Gray is the author of the classic bestselling relationship advice book, MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS. Visit his website,, for advice on dating, marriage, parenting, romance and workplace issues.

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