The M Word. (No, Not “Men,” but “Masturbation”)

By Josie Brown

masturbationGiving the finger never felt so good.

Oh, come on already! Admit it: you’ve diddled yourself at least once, right?

If not, you’re in a pitiful minority: in a recent survey by,   of thousands of readers (46% of which were women), only 16% of female respondents claim that they’ve never succumbed to self-gratification.

Liar, liar, pants of fire. Figuratively, if not literally, albeit in the dark, quiet recesses of your boudoir.

Ladies, ‘fess up: If you’ve ever ridden a horse, you’ve hit your G spot. My equestrian friends love their expensive hobby for a reason: getting a little of that giddy-yap each weekend is addictive.

Most of us don’t need an excuse for sexual gratification. Still, if you still feel you need permission to come out and play (with yourself), here’s a couple of things that may sway the prude in you:

(1)    It lowers your blood pressure;
(2)    It’s certainly the safest form of sex you can have;
(3)    It’s a great way to learn more about your body;
(4)    It protects you from cervical infections, because it increases the acidity of cervical mucus, and flushes out toxins;
(5)    Relieves depression (proof positive that we’re always happier after lovemaking—even when making love to ourselves)

Oh yeah, and (6): It’s the most fun you can have by yourself. (I’m paraphrasing Woody Allen here…)

So, go ahead, give yourself a hand (or something). Here’s how:

Initiating Your Own Personal One-Finger Exercise

Vaginal fingering is the easiest way to get physical with your G Spot (or your “Gräfenberg”; I’m guessing the name lost its rightful place in history because it doesn’t sound anywhere near as naughty).

And just where exactly is that?

With a little sexploration, you can forgo the map. To find it, gently and slowly insert a finger down into your vagina. That’s where you’ll find the clitoris: the pink, layered female sex organ located near the anterior junction of the labia minora, right above the opening of the urethra, there beyond the pubic bone . . .

Voilà, you’ve breached your Erogenous Zone!

The sensations you feel will be determined by how fast/slow/deep/low you stimulate yourself. If you’re highly sensitive, you’ll hit the high notes faster and quicker than those who must delve a bit more deeply.

The middle finger, which is also the longest on your hand, ensures the deepest penetration. Some women, though, swear by the index finger, which when the hand faces up, curves up against the clitoral wall.

Up and down, or side-to-side? Pleasure is in the eye of the beholder. Then again, so is pain, which is why you may want to opt for vertical as opposed to horizontal. A circular rotation will work, too.

Hey, don’t be afraid to experiment. For example, two fingers may double your pleasure, and double your fun.

Now I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Are you listening?


Yeah, as in dildoes. But that’s next month’s Spice of Life topic. So many shapes and sizes, so little time . . .

Until then, use what God gave you.


15 Very Broad Hints that You’re Dating a Man Ho

Finding Mr. Right: It’s Mind Over Matter

Five Typical Myths about Mr. Right


Josie Brown, SMW’s relationship editor, is the author of two snarky Hollywood novels: Impossibly Tongue-Tied, and True Hollywood Lies. Her next novel, Secret Lives of Husbands and Wives, will be in bookstores on June 1, 2010.