Sex and the SMW: “Help! I’m in love with my best friend’s boyfriend…”

By Josie Brown

pic1He’s hot. He’s sweet.

Oh yeah, and he’s taken. But nothing new there, right?

In fact, in the past that has never stopped you from turning on the charm. Flirting is harmless. And if he should have a change of heart that works in your favor, all the better, right?

VERY wrong. Particularly if that woman on his arm happens to be someone you love, too:

Your best friend.

Still can’t get him out of your mind? Then maybe it’s time to do some soul searching as to why you’re attracted to him in the first place:

Excuse #1: “He’s approachable.”
Thank goodness for that, right? There’s nothing worse than the awkward moment that occurs when a good friend introduces you to her significant other—and you don’t like him. So yes, it’s great that there’s a immediate chemistry between you, but don’t forget that common bond you both share: her.

Excuse #2: “He’s flirting with me.”
Friendly teasing and compliments are one thing. Arranging dates behind her back is something else: a whole lot of trouble.

Have you considered what happens next in this fantasy scenario? If you’re thinking covert sex with you in the role as the other woman, then you’d better be prepared for the eventual loss of your friendship.

And when all is said and done, there will be the inevitable broken hearts: not just hers, but yours, too. After all, if he’s open to one side dish, what makes you think he’ll stay true blue to you, either? It may turn out that he’s the wrong guy for both of you.

Excuse #3: “It’s not unusual for my girlfriend and I to engage in a little friendly competition.”
That’s fine if your talking promotions, shoe bargains, or even the number of notches on your Prada belts. But when it comes to men, by now you should know that one cardinal BFF rule by heart:

Hands off—unless you’re willing to risk your friendship.

But of course, you’re not—which is why you’ll immediately turn your sights on someone else.

Better yet, ask your pal if her boyfriend has an available brother . . . and if so, to introduce you.

Have a question? Email Josie here…

More Sex and the SMW Articles

“Why do I attract men who can’t commit?”

“I only date younger men…”

Josie Brown, SMW’s relationship editor, is the author of two snarky Hollywood novels: Impossibly Tongue-Tied, and True Hollywood Lies. She is also co-author, along with her husband Martin, of Marriage Confidential: 102 Honest Answers to the Question Every Husband Wants to Ask, and Every Wife Needs to Know