For the Best Sex of Your Life

By Dr. Jennifer Hanes

Far too many bedrooms across America are left in the dark, literally. It is time to examine this phenomenon.  While difficult to find statistics for this behavior, it seems to be a common practice for a woman to request the room be darkened before she is comfortable being naked or making love with her partner.  Really?  It appears in the age of the air-brushed, botoxed, spray-tanned models, many ladies feel inadequate compared to such an impossible standard.

Those days of hiding in the shadows are over and it is time to reclaim our beauty in the bedroom.

First of all, if you’re comparing yourself to the fantasy images in a magazine, realize that you, not a picture of a model, but you, are the lovely woman whose company your man is enjoying.  And while you may compare yourself to other women in your head, you are literally the only naked woman in the room.  The competition truly exists only in your mind. Make the most of your moment and stop defeating yourself.  When you are distracted thinking about your imperfections, you are unable to relax and enjoy yourself which would be the highest compliment to your man.

Men are highly visual creatures.  It is a fact their brains show different activity levels viewing erotic material when compared to the female brain.  Take advantage of this information.  If your mate is turned on by visual cues, why in the world would you want to take that away?  Yes, yes, because you don’t want him to see your stretch-marks or your varicose veins or whatever you believe to be your problem areas.  But here is the beautiful part, with the lights on you can focus his attention to the parts of your body that you love. In fact, any visual stimulus will help divert his thoughts from the parts of your body you consider to be less than ideal.  You can try a lace nightie or even a prop like a feather boa or fishnet stockings.  Be creative and fill his mind with wonderful visions so he will be too occupied savoring the sights to notice your less attractive features.

Since you are probably still not convinced to come out of the dark, let me sum this up for you.  In the dark, you have taken away his erotic connection to sight leaving his other four senses heightened.  So not only did he lose the ability to see your pretty face, but his concentration is now able to focus on just how lumpy and jiggly your thighs really feel.  Does that sound sexy to you?

Let there be light!   But, to get comfortable with the idea, start slowly.  There is no need to jump directly into fluorescent craziness, as those lights do not flatter any woman, including models.  Start gently with a couple of candles, scented if you wish, because everybody looks better in candlelight.  Then pick an item to help you feel more self-assured; one that will enhance the visual stimulation he hungers for.  You could try a new lipstick or a necklace that sparkles in the candlelight.  Use your imagination and let go.  A confident woman is always a sexy woman.

Get him into the act by asking him to surprise you with new ways of lighting the bedroom. From candles to red light bulbs it invites your man to tinker with different effects and gives him a role in this new level of sex play. Trust me, once you welcome light into your lovemaking, you’ll never want to go back to the days of hide and seek.


A board certified emergency physician, Jennifer Hanes, D.O., discovered that patients have greater success when they understand their bodies.  With that unique philosophy, she founded Empowered Medicine, PLLC, where knowledge is powerful medicine.  She empowers patients with her articles, motivational speeches and private consultations.  You can learn more at