Spin Your Web by Damona Hoffman
By SMW Staff
Congrats, Damona, on the new book. Tell us about Spin Your Web and why you chose to write it?
I started out as a casting director in Hollywood and after seeing many talented actors lose out on parts because they didn’t have the right headshots or resumes to get noticed, I began teaching classes in marketing techniques for actors. This was a somewhat foreign concept for most actors to think of themselves as a product that they had to market the same way a brand would target them to buy something. However, once they embraced the idea, many of them were able to not only get in the door but also land dream roles on TV’s top shows.
At the same time I was teaching these classes, I was single and dating online and I began to see parallels between what I taught my actors and what I was experiencing in my dating life. My online dating photos were like my dating headshots and I needed to have the right pictures to get noticed by the right guy. Once I applied this same branding technique to my online dating profile, I was able to catch the eye of my perfect man and we’ve now been happily married for six years. I wrote Spin Your Web: How to Brand Yourself for Successful Online Dating because I believe everyone deserves to win a dream role in their own love story.
What would you say is the biggest mistake people make when building their online dating profile?
Women tend to say too much. Men tend to say too little. Your profile should be just a tease. It should include just enough information to make someone want to move to the next step and meet you face-to-face. Also, it’s very common for profiles to read like a grocery list. It’s much more effective when you think of your profile is as an excerpt from your story instead. If you say that you are looking for a man with a great sense of humor who loves family, you will blend in with the thousands of other profiles that say the same thing. However, when you tell your personal story, your profile will always be unique.
What’s the biggest mistake people make on their first date?
The biggest mistake is making a judgment too soon. People are not themselves on a first date and sometimes you need to meet again when their nerves have settled down to see what your date is really like. In Spin Your Web, I recommend the ‘Rule of Three’. If there is something that you like about them, even if they are not perfect in that first meeting, it’s worth giving them a second date. If you are still intrigued or enjoying something about being with them on the second date, give them a third. If the sparks aren’t flying by the third date; however, it’s ok to move on.
What are some of the differences in the ways in which men and women approach online dating?
Many of the women that I coach through DearMrsD.com go online seeking a long-term relationship. Sometimes guys are just there because it’s a great way to expand your dating pool and play the field. This doesn’t mean all guys online are players but you need to know how to separate Mr. Right from Mr. Right now.
We heard you’re doing some work with Match.com. Tell us a little bit about your events with Match’s the “Stir”?
Beginning in May, I will be leading a series of events under Match.com’s Stir banner. They will all be single-gender events geared towards, not only giving advice to help Match users become more successful with online dating, but also forming a community of wing-girls and wing-guys with whom singles can share stories, experiences, and attend future Stir events. We will be launching this series in May in Los Angeles and then roll out 1-2 events in different cities through the end of the year.
What’s your favorite success story?
I had a client who went through a terrible divorce. She was 40 and she hoped to find a guy who could restore her faith in men after experiencing infidelity and dishonesty with her ex-husband. Plus, she deeply wanted to be a mother. She was a beautiful, outgoing woman who had no trouble getting dates but she was looking for the right man who would be a great father. After searching far and wide online, she found her perfect guy and although he lived across country lines in Canada, that didn’t stop her from following her heart. Within six months of meeting they were engaged, within one year they were married and by the next year they had a beautiful baby boy together. She has the perfect life that she envisioned and without online dating she and her husband never would have had a chance to meet.
Damona Hoffman (aka “Dear Mrs D”) is a professional dating strategist with nearly a decade of experience in the world of online dating. In addition to writing a bi-weekly column on JDate.com’s JMag, she is also a contributor to The Huffington Post, YourTango.com and hosts the weekly radio show “Dates and Mates” on UBNRadio.com. Dear Mrs D has been seen on Fox, NBC, CBS and various radio programs. For more information, visit: http://dearmrsd.com; on Twitter https://twitter.com/DearMrsD; on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DearMrsD.
About SPIN YOUR WEB
This short and savvy book touches on several key points to finding love online in the 21st century. You’ll find solutions to some of the most challenging dating situations from cross-cultural relationships to finding love post-divorce and dating via smartphones. The author guides readers on the same path that led to her own happy marriage, all with her signature candor and humor.
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