Your Learning Curve: New Ways to Get All the Support You Need
By John Khoury
Imagine a company without managers, a pro athlete without a coach, or a president without advisers. You should be quick to think that something is missing. Yet, most individuals prod on through life with no formal oversight. No one is looking from the outside in with much needed objectivity and expertise in the most important area of your life – your happiness and overall well being.
As Tiger Woods comes off a press conference to discuss his unpleasant situation, one can’t miss the irony that he had this extensive team dedicated to improving his golf game, but no one there for his personal life. As with most people, it probably never occurred to him that such a thing existed, or if it existed that it would be effective. Maybe he didn’t think he needed it. Indeed, when asked in an interview with ESPN “Why not get treatment before hand?” His response: “I didn’t know I was that bad”. How is that possible? “Denial and rationalization”, he claims. He’s not alone.
Not for you?
“I don’t need that”, most would say, and they are right. In the Western World, we got everything we “needed” a long, long time ago. We’ve since been looking for what we “want”. Yet give someone a pad and pencil and 20 seconds to write down what they want for their lives and most will be stumped. If they manage to pull it off, the next question becomes – how’s it going? Are you getting everything you want? Company executives help get the profits the shareholders want, coaches help get athletes the wins they want, and Quality of Life professionals help you get the results you want in your life.
Friends and Family
We all have a set of people around us often called a “support-network”. Why bother with outside help when you have a support-network in place? The problem is that your friends and family lack the objectivity you need for real change. They are a part of the situation and their lives are affected by your life. Changes to your life mean changes to their lives, and no one likes change – even for the better! For the most part, they will be comfortable with their lives and be happy to keep things, and you, as they are.
If Tiger thinks he could have avoided all this by simply confiding with friends and family, one might suppose he’d be wrong. First of all, it’s never easy to show weakness, especially to those close to you. And those around him probably expected him to be that infallible individual we all thought he was. Any deviation from expectations, good or bad, will have an impact on those involved. That makes them biased counsel… and that is why doctors aren’t allowed to treat family.
It’s all subconscious – no one means any ill will, it’s simply how it works. Many life coaches will even advise you to keep your plans and progress to yourself, at least initially, to allow you the momentum needed to really change before your friends and family can have an effect on you.
Self-help books are great. The logic is true: if you want to be good at life, become a student of life. Study those who are doing well, who have what you want, and try to emulate them. Happiness and wellbeing are caused by specific things, so you will do well to find out what those things are. But, you still need to incorporate them into your life – life is a skill, it implies action. A great recipe for crème brûlée is a good find, but you’ll probably need to practice a few times. Even better if you have a chef standing next to you who can correct and adjust your technique. Your gut might tell you it should come out of the oven now, but your gut may be wrong – or just too hungry to think straight.
And that’s all it is – someone with the right balance of distance, empathy and the skills to back it all up. And finding that someone is a tough step, but the internet, especially eClinics and directories are a great place to make that step. Society is steadily seeing that professional help is not for the sick, it’s for the smart. It’s only a shame too many people are learning this after irreparable damage has been done. His golf and his finances may suffer, but you can bet with the right help that Tiger Woods will come out of all this a happier person. The same interview with ESPN finds him agreeing: “The strength I feel now…I’ve never felt that type of strength”.
Liquic.com (The Life Quality Improvement Center) is a comprehensive online health and wellness resource for individuals seeking a better quality of life, providing access to coaches, psychologists, yoga instructors, dieticians, fitness experts, relationship therapists, counselors and financial advisors regardless of physical location. By merging the traditional world of psychology, the practical hands-on touch of the coaching and counseling industry, and the exciting techniques of alternative and holistic wellness, Liquic is able to serve as a gateway to improved overall well being.