My Little Lost Sex Drive

By Lissa Rankin, MD

Where can I find my little lost sex drive and how can I get it back?

A woman’s libido can be a slippery little sucker and cause a low sex drive in women. Unlike men with decreased libidos, who often respond to a little vitamin V (Viagra), women’s needs go deeper. After ignoring women’s sexual needs for decades, pharmaceutical companies are finally paying attention, trying to make big bucks marketing a magic pill to turn us on. So far, studies show that no single thing gets us in the mood.  While drawing blood flow to the penis usually does the trick to turn on a man, increasing blood flow to the clitoris or vagina doesn’t necessarily do the trick in women.  Our needs tend to be more complex.

Here are some tips I recommend to my patients:

1)      Schedule sex dates.  If you’re up late doing the dishes, doing the laundry, and doing the children’s homework, you won’t feel like doing your lover.  Plan ahead and make it happen.

2)      Fake it ‘til you make it.  Not that you should ever fake orgasm (I highly recommend against doing so), but going through the motions of being sexual can get your juices flowing, even when you’re not in the mood.

3)      Buy the book 101 Nights of Greaaat Sex by Laura Corn – and use it. It’s filled with tear-out pages of sexy seduction scenes For Him or For Her. It works every time, if you’re daring enough to be a little naughty.

4)      Experiment with erotic movies, books or magazines.  Send your inner critic to time out and see how you feel. Keep an open mind.

5)      Invite some sex toys into the bedroom.  If you usually keep your vibrator in the bottom drawer, under a pile of magazines, yank it out and welcome it into playtime with your partner. If you’ve never experimented with sex toys before, consider going shopping.

6)      See your doctor.  A battery of tests can look for reversible causes that can be addressed. You might also consider a trial of hormone replacement therapy.  While studies to support its use are limited, some patients report improvement in their libido when using low dose testosterone replacement.  If your estrogen and progesterone levels are low, as they are in menopause and may also be premenopausally, you may benefit from replacing these hormones as well.  Talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits if you’re interested in exploring how hormones might help your sex life.

Lissa Rankin MD is the author of the book, What’s Up Down There, and the founder of . To enter our contest for a copy of Lissa book (courtesy of, comment below on some question you have about…you know, down there!)

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