Single Minded Women - women's family - Single Minded Moms: Find True Happiness; Allow Love to Transform Your Life

Latest in SINGLE MOMS

FEATURE ARTICLES
Matt, Liz and Madeline Logelin Charity Gift Registry Single Minded Moms: Routines and Realities...a Single Dad's Perspective Single Minded Moms: The Single Mom's 10 Commandments, Part 2
full archive

WEEKLY COLUMNS
Messy Single Moms: Here's How to Clean Up Your Act! Single Moms Get Smart about Insurance:Tips That Make a Big Difference Raising a Fatherless Boy: What Single Moms Need to Know
full archive

ASK THE EXPERTS
Ask Dr. Susan Bartell: When Your Child Acts Out Top 25 Cost Savers for Single Moms Practical Answers for Single Moms Raising Kids on the Autism Spectrum
full archive

COMMUNITY FORUMS

FEATURED ARTICLE

Single Minded Moms: Find True Happiness; Allow Love to Transform Your Life
SMW Single Mom’s Parenting Tips & Resources
By Melissa Chapman, updated 9/20/2008 at 7:07:34 PM

Maybe you're a bit of a cynic, but who could blame you?! The true love you were promised in syrupy sweet Disney fairytale endings replete with raven and golden haired princesses riding off into sunsets with their prince charmings were not the ending you got! Yours was very different; your prince turned out to be anything but charming; your ride halted to a screeching stop and you never got a glimpse of that glorious sunset!

Still, you feel extremely blessed, although, by 9pm, you ‘re usually wiped out having exhausted your every last bit of bodily strength doing your single mom juggle—job, kids, house- and when your head grazes your pillowcase you are out cold. At 6 am when the alarm begins its unrelenting beeping noise, you wonder; would those Disney Princesses bolt of bed singing sweetly, if like you they were single moms feeling a little slighted by the universe's master plan?

So, if you're a single mom feeling discontent with the way your life is unfolding, and you've never relied on religion as a source of comfort, you don't need to believe in a deity to unearth your reserve of personal energy. All you need is you. It may sound simplistic, but it is true. When you learn to harness your unique energy and spirit you can create the life you were meant to lead.

“When we learn that we have the ability to harness our thoughts, we have the power to do and be anything we desire,” says Susan Apollon author of, Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul. “This is truly self-empowerment and it is ours for the choosing.”

If the word, intuitive psychologist conjures up images of charlatan psychics, spinning their tales from pixie dust, it's all right to cling to your reservations, but keep reading anyhow. Worst case-scenario you'll pick up some interesting insights into ways to create a better you, and best case scenario, you might actually begin to believe that your power is firmly within your grasp.So just how do you get down to the business of harnessing your power?

Make it your intention to choose unconditional love of yourself and of others.

“By choosing to love yourself unconditionally, you are intending to focus on your positive, loving qualities and gifts rather than on the points for which you hold self loathing, unresolved guilt and much pain,” says Apollon. “Unconditional love is accepting you totally, completely and adoringly mistakes and all.”

You are made up of more than 50 trillion cells, all of which are intelligent beings and totally aware of every thought you have. The only experience your cells need and want from you, in order to keep you happy, is love. When you adore yourself your body releases endorphins; substances produced by the brain that have painkilling and tranquillizing effects on the body.

Release and detach from any baggage you have been carrying around; practice forgiving yourself and others.

"Forgiveness is not easy, but it is deeply rewarding," insists Apollon. "It is vitally important that you learn to forgive the people who have wronged you. Remember that everyone on earth is walking their own path and is trying to do the best they can. The strongest choice you could possibly make is to let go of any unresolved anger and choose to forgive. The choices you make have different energetic vibrations, and forgiveness and love carry the highest resonance. When you don't forgive, you deny yourself a higher energetic payoff."

The reason to forgive yourself and anyone else is to heal. It is not for anyone else – just you.

When something pops up for you that causes you to feel anything but good, try the Face, Embrace and Replace Technique.

“It's healthier to feel the sadness and loss than to detach yourself from it,” says Apollon. “It's normal to grieve; just don't make it the dominant part of who you are."

The moment you notice you‘re experiencing a not-good feeling and the thoughts associated with it, face it. Embrace your pain then replace it with a feel- good thought and focus on it for 30 seconds. Then, repeat!

Remember to breathe!

You were born with the gift of breath. It heals, calms, brings feelings of peace and love. Don't forget to use it, especially in the middle of a stressful situation. Practice taking three deep breaths; with each breath, breathe in to the count of 6, 7 8, 9 or 10, depending on your comfort level. Breathe out to the same count. With each breath in, visualize yourself connecting with the loving energy of the universe and watch it flowing into and throughout your being. With the count out to 10, let this healing breath of energy going into your every cell, lovingly bathing each and watch anything dark being gently released from your body.

Fifth, know the law of attraction; like energy attracts like energy.

Every morning when you wake up, the ball is in your court in regards to how you want to spend your day. If you exude bitterness, anger, or self-pity, then you can't really expect others around you to feed you good cheer by the spoonful. Remember the law of the universe: Like attracts like. Even if you don't necessarily feel charitable or joyful, put a smile on your face and intend to feel better and you might surprise yourself by actually feeling better. Fake it till you make it.

-Love yourself enough to value your time with you!

-Take time to simply be alone and replenish yourself.

-Regain your inner balance by exercising each day, even if it is just a ten-minute walk, some gentle stretching, meditating, doing yoga, or tai chi.

-Get plenty of sleep.

-Eat well so your body will stay strong. Avoid the urge to overeat, especially if you are doing so for emotional reasons—you will just feel sluggish and cranky afterward.

-An occasional new outfit or hairstyle is sometimes worth more than a month of therapy!

Get in the joy zone.

No one expects you to be bubbling over with cheer all the time and true joy doesn't always look like that anyway. The "joy zone" can be thought of as a space of quiet contentedness.

-Take these little shortcuts that instantly up your joy quotient.

-Indulge in a sinful dessert.

-Sleep in sheets with a high thread count.

-Listen to a feel-good album.

-Sip a tasty wine.

-Attend a worship service to reconnect with a higher sense of awareness.

-Know what you can and cannot control.

You have control of no other being except yourself. That is, you can't control what another individual thinks, says or does. Those are all part of his or her journey. If you want to be happy or peaceful, it is entirely up to you to make this happen.

"Control struggles are huge emotion and energy drainers," says Apollon. "The moment you understand that you can manage only your own feelings and thoughts, you will find power you didn't know you had. You have to learn how to accept the choices those around you make and vow to focus only on what you can control.”

Don't over-commit your time or your money. Value and love yourself enough to make financial and time choices that first serve you and your children.

Most single moms vow that they won't stretch themselves too thin, physically, emotionally, or financially, but somehow spend all their time exhausted, frazzled, and broke. It is hard to feel joyful and loving when you are over-committed. It really is okay to turn down invitations if you don't feel like being around others, or to spend the whole weekend holed up with a good book or some movies. It's your life, and you get to live it your way.

"Be careful not to live beyond your means," cautions Apollon. "No one can live a peaceful life when they are deeply in debt and stressed about money. If you don't make enough to live comfortably, resolve to find a higher paying job within the next six months and stick to a strict budget to get out of debt. Your finances won't improve unless you take action. Once you do you will find a hidden wellspring of self-esteem because you are sculpting your own future."

Manage your expectations.

Remember that life seldom looks like a spread in Better Homes & Gardens. Most people's living rooms aren't picture perfect, dogs have accidents on new sofas, picnics get rained out, and teenagers get pregnant. Accept that life is messy and complicated.

"Even the best laid plans seldom go off without a hitch," says Apollon. "Still, life can be pretty darn great if you savor perfect moments when they come. If you work toward finding the l ove in every situation, you will be delighted to find how much joy life can hold.”

Finally… cherish those you love as if there were no tomorrow.

When you choose to live every moment of your life from a place of unconditional love, you will find yourself experiencing more joy and inner peace than you could have ever imagined.

Other Single Minded Women Articles You Might Enjoy

Finding the Positive in Being a Single Parent

Seven Resolutions To Help Single Moms Kick Start the New Year

How Do I De-Stress My Life?

The Yoga Glow

Author Susan Apollon is a master of several healing and energy modalities, a researcher of mind, consciousness, energy, and metaphysics, a student and teacher of intuition, and a survivor of her own challenge with breast cancer, she brings wisdom and compassion to those with whom she works. Touched by the Extraordinary. is filled with stories of individuals who have loved so much and continue to have indications that love does not die, that they are protected and watched over by God, angels and their deceased loved ones, and that they are often given what they need. For more information check out www.touchedbytheextraordinary.com And for Susan Apollon's tips to achieving inner peace check out the SMW blog.

Recent Forum Postings.

No Forum Entries Found.

Read the entire forum here

FEATURED SPECIAL OFFERS

Parenting Extras

Promotions, sweepstakes, and contests from Parenting and its advertisers all in one